It's like a weapon - you sure hope you don't need it at all, ever
While I agree with the rest of your points, I imagine a not insignificant percentage of weapon owners (ok who am I kidding - gun owners) are absolutely pining - secretly or not so secretly - for a need to use their weapon to present itself, for various reasons (fantasies of being The Hero, vindication of their having said gun(s)...).
It's not hard to imagine the same could be said for many preppers actually looking forward to WTSHTF Day.
(Yes, there is some overlap between the two groups.)
Humans are built and optimised towards long-distance running.
Wales float. They don't have to worry about their boner bumping and scraping on the ground or on rocks.
You have to worry about your junk scraping on the ground when you run? Impressive.
If someone calls themselves a chef or a foodie, it may not make them right...but
An Appeal to Authority is a fallacy with the following form:
Person A is (claimed to be) an authority on subject S. Person A makes claim C about subject S. Therefore, C is true.
I'm no expert on logical fallacies like you are, but it seems like there's an all too familiar logical fallacy being committed here too (hint: it has something to do with the two bolds).
In a consumer society there are inevitably two kinds of slaves: the prisoners of addiction and the prisoners of envy.