Comment Who does watermarking protect? (Score 1) 232
(fine print on "big four" record label contract) WE OWN YOU. WE ALSO OWN ALL THE MUSIC THAT YOU WRITE OR RECORD FROM NOW ON FOR ETERNITY, AND WE INTEND TO DO ANYTHING AT ALL, NO MATTER HOW ASININE OR UNHOLY, IN ORDER TO REALIZE A PROFIT. YOUR PAYMENT WILL THEORETICALLY BE 5-10% OF RETAIL PRICE FOR EVERY RECORDING SOLD, BUT IN ACTUALITY MUCH LESS BECAUSE OF KICKBACKS AND DEALS WITH DISTRIBUTORS AND RETAILERS. WE WILL ADVANCE YOU (six figure sum) AND YOU WILL PAY FOR PRODUCTION, MASTERING, INDEPENDENT PROMOTION, AND LIVING COSTS. WE WILL RELEASE YOUR ALBUM WHENEVER THE HELL WE FEEL LIKE IT, MAYBE NEVER. YOU WILL REPAY US EVERY CENT OF THIS ADVANCE OUT OF YOUR 5-10%. YOU MIGHT REALIZE A NET PROFIT OF SEVERAL THOUSAND DOLLARS IF YOUR ALBUM GOES PLATINUM, BUT PROBABLY NOT. WE UNDERSTAND THAT RIGHT NOW YOU ARE THINKING OF HITTING THE BIG TIME AND GETTING BLOWJOBS FROM STRIPPERS IN THE BACK OF YOUR LIMOUSINE. WE ADVISE YOU TO CONTINUE LIVING IN YOUR FANTASY WORLD UNTIL YOUR CAREER TANKS AND YOU ARE FORCED TO RETURN TO YOUR PATHETIC INDIE RECORD STORE TO MAKE A LIVING.