after5's Journal: Penguin Protection

As many of you are probably aware, I have a certain fascination for the noble penguin.

Yes, I said noble penguin.

Why are they noble? Because one day an Emperor Penguin won the Noble Prize in Mathematics for discovering the connection between tons of herring consumed versus hours slept.

Of course that's a bunch of bullocks since there is no Noble Prize in Mathematics (because Noble's wife was cheating on him with a mathematician, true story!), and we all know that Emperor penguins don't eat herring. Or do they...or do they?

Anyway, in my bedroom back in the states I have a small farm of plucky penguins that enjoy sitting on shelves or on top of computer monitors and the like. My siblings are fond of taking my birds and "teaching them how to fly." This basically consists of placing said innocent birds on my ceiling fan blades and then starting the contraption up, only to watch them fly off the ends and crash into the walls.

I know exactly what you're thinking...animal cruelty.

This sort of madness cannot go on! Please, contact [e-mail] and stand up for the rights of these fowl creatures of the colder climes! And please, if you see penguin abuse, please do not be afraid to accost the abuser and maybe give them some abuse. Life is like a hula-hoop, what goes around comes around.

Polar bears...

[Heidi137]

I don't approve of penguin abuse, but I seem to remember a few little incidents with Lisa's polar bear involving the banister of your front staircase... you wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you? I didn't think so.

Things that make you go hmmm...

[DenaGirl]

I understand penguins are important to you, but what about Lisa's polar bears and Bongo. I remember a game that you like to play called "Bowling with Bongo" You don't happen to know the rules of that game do you? Huh? Huh?! I suggest you concentrate on your studies and not worry about your penguins back at the casa.

excuse you!

[lisatb]

sorry, i was so mad i hit the wrong key before. i am outraged by your slanderous remarks. and hurt very very deeply as well. i cried for hours because of you. for the record i would like to say that i do not willingly allow these penguins to fly. they beg me in their squeeky little penguin voices to teach them to fly so they can free themselves from the captivity. you just perch them without thinking about where they would like to perch, and that poor duck has no feathers on his bum cuz your computer gets so hot, and his hearing is shot too. i try to help the penguins. you have such a fascination with perching things you even try to force a certain polar and big polar to perch! they're bears; they grr and wrestle they don't perch!! and gorillas don't like to go rolling down stairs or across landings. oh and don't get me started on the noose you tied around a certain baby bear's neck and how threw him over the banister to dangle on the stairs! all i'm saying is yes, what goes around comes around, but sometimes the intentions of others are more pure than the intentions of one's self.