... I'm more interested in how Apple and Google move forward with their OSes to prevent this from even being a question next time.
This. The thing that bothers me the most about this whole thing is that Apple declared that they couldn't unlock our phones, that with the new OS and default encryption your data is safe, when it clearly isn't. IMO, they should open the phone for the FBI if they have the capability, then fix whatever is needed so that they actually CANNOT comply in the future.
...government always had the physical ability to open your mail or tap your telephone conversations. Privacy was protected only by the restraint of public officials to act within the confines of the law.
Privacy was never protected by the restraint of public officials. It was only ever protected by the sheer volume of mail that would have to be opened, or calls to be listened to by actual humans. It was protected by technological limitations. As computers get faster, those limitations are disappearing. Restraint of public officials is a laughable concept.
... And I managed to do it without becoming a preachy know-it-all douchebag.
You might want to rethink that assertion.
If we assume that 4 people can comfortably fuck on a king-size bed
I think you and I have different definitions of 'comfortably'
Someday somebody has got to decide whether the typewriter is the machine, or the person who operates it.