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Submission + - ZOSCII: Post-quantum security through address-based encoding (no encryption) (github.com) 1

Submitted by ZhuLien
ZhuLien writes: After optimizing software for retro Z80 computers, I stumbled onto something interesting: what if instead of encrypting data, we just store memory addresses pointing to characters in a ROM file?

The result is ZOSCII — Zero Overhead Secure Code Information Interchange. Unlike AES-256 which uses mathematical complexity, ZOSCII uses "address indirection" for security:

1. Your data becomes a sequence of memory addresses
2. Without the ROM file, addresses are meaningless random numbers
3. Same message can encode millions of different ways (non-deterministic)
4. Creates "weaponized ambiguity" — any address sequence could decode to anything

Security researcher Bruce Schneier called it "snake-oil of the highest degree" expecting traditional encryption. But ZOSCII isn't encryption — it's information-theoretic security through mathematical impossibility rather than computational complexity.

Try the interactive demo: drop any file as your "ROM key" and see what messages appear on the bulletin board. Different files reveal completely different content from the same data. Wrong ROM = Orwellian privacy quotes.

I've also put this to the test with a 64-character private key encoded using ZOSCII — publicly available challenge file with real cryptocurrency bounty.

Live demo: https://zoscii.com/zosciibb/
Challenge details: zosciicoin.com
GitHub: https://github.com/PrimalNinja...

What do you think — revolutionary encoding method or elaborate snake-oil?

Comment Retro Computing Ban Proposed (Score 1) 1

by ZhuLien (#65569618) Attached to: Julian Man Grant Tables New Law to Outright Ban the Use of Tables
For those who enjoy satire... I released it under MIT License - and here is a followup for fun. # Retro Computing Ban Proposed After Government Surveillance Systems Defeated by Commodore 64 **Minister declares 8-bit computers "weaponized nostalgia," demands immediate internet disconnection** CANBERRA - Following the discovery that vintage computers can bypass modern surveillance systems, Minister Julian Man Grant announced emergency legislation to ban all pre-2020 computers from internet access, claiming the government "lacks the technological capability to monitor Pac-Man era communications." The crisis began when intelligence agencies admitted their $50 billion cyber-surveillance network cannot analyze traffic from Commodore 64s, Apple IIs, or any system running on less than 16GB of RAM. "Our AI-powered threat detection was trained on Windows 11 and TikTok," explained a visibly sweating Grant while lying prone on the parliament floor. "It sees optimized address table communications and just... gives up. Blue screens. Starts crying." The situation worsened after Grant's earlier "Anti-Tabular Surfaces Act" inadvertently exempted most 8-bit computers, which flew under the radar by using direct ROM addressing instead of traditional lookup tables. "We banned tables, but these ancient machines don't use tables - they use raw memory addresses!" wailed a Department of Digital Surveillance official. Grant's proposed "Computational Obsolescence Prevention Act" would require all internet-connected devices to have minimum surveillance-compatibility requirements, including built-in government backdoors, mandatory telemetry, and at least 32 processing cores "so our spying algorithms have somewhere to hide." The retro computing community responded by organizing a "1980s Internet Party," flooding government servers with optimized address table traffic from machines older than most cabinet ministers. Early reports suggest the surveillance network has begun playing Pong and asking for more quarters. Grant concluded the press conference by demanding emergency powers to "make the internet compatible with our spying again, like the good old days of 2019." --- NOTE: This is a satirical news piece about the absurd consequences of a panic-driven ban on tables. The escalating absurdity from personal inconvenience to complete societal collapse is classic satirical structure. --- But this is NOT Satire! Announcing: CyborgZOSCII - ZERO encryption ZERO ciphering 100% SECURE!!! ZERO ROM SPACE WASTED ON 8-BIT COMPUTERS FOR ASCII/PETSCII TABLES FASTER TEXT OUTPUT!!! https://github.com/PrimalNinja...

Submission + - Julian Man Grant Tables New Law to Outright Ban the Use of Tables 1

Submitted by Anonymous Coward
An anonymous reader writes: # Julian Man Grant Tables New Law to Outright Ban the Use of Tables

**Government minister suffers complete meltdown over revolutionary data security breakthrough, hastily scribbles legislation on napkin**

CANBERRA — In what experts are calling "the most knee-jerk reaction since someone invented the knee," Minister Julian Man Grant announced today a sweeping ban on all tables following reports that data scientists have developed foolproof security methods using simple tabular formats.

The breakthrough technique, dubbed "TableCrypt," allegedly makes data 100% secure without any encryption or ciphering by cleverly arranging information in rows and columns. Upon hearing this news during his morning briefing, witnesses report that Grant immediately began hyperventilating and muttering "not the tables, anything but the tables" before frantically drafting emergency legislation on whatever flat surface he could find — ironically, his desk.

"If tables can make data completely secure, then tables are clearly too powerful for civilian use," Grant declared at a hastily arranged press conference, standing awkwardly behind a podium that had its legs sawed off. "We must act swiftly before these dangerous rectangular arrangements destabilize our entire intelligence apparatus."

## Nation Struggles to Adapt to Table-Free Reality

The immediate implementation of the "Anti-Tabular Surfaces Act" has plunged the country into chaos. Families across the nation are now forced to eat dinner huddled around bowls placed directly on the floor, leading to what sociologists are calling "the great back pain epidemic of 2025."

"Little Timmy keeps asking why we can't use the dining table anymore," sobbed local mother Sarah Henderson, gesturing toward the confiscated furniture now gathering dust in her garage. "I tried explaining that the government thinks it might accidentally encrypt his homework, but he just started crying into his floor-spaghetti."

Workplaces have been equally disrupted. Office workers are now conducting meetings while sitting cross-legged in circles, balancing laptops precariously on their knees. Productivity has plummeted 847%, though Grant's office insists this is "a small price to pay for data security."

The Table Enforcement Division, a hastily formed police unit equipped with sledgehammers and measuring tape, has been conducting aggressive raids on suspected table-harboring locations. "We've had reports of underground ping-pong tournaments and illegal coffee table gatherings," announced Chief Inspector Margaret Flatbottom. "These table-huggers will face the full force of the floor-based law."

## Technology Sector in Complete Meltdown

Perhaps most catastrophically, the legislation's broad language has effectively banned all computer software, since virtually every program utilizes some form of tabular data structure. The tech industry watched in horror as enforcement officers began confiscating servers, claiming that HTML tables, database tables, and even ASCII character tables violated the new law.

"They took our mainframes!" wailed TechCorp CEO David Pixelworth, who watched helplessly as officers dragged away millions of dollars worth of equipment. "I tried explaining that ASCII tables are just how computers understand letters, but they said 'a table is a table' and started reading me my rights."

The government's own website crashed within hours of the law's implementation, as enforcement protocols apparently applied to their own systems. Grant's office has been forced to communicate exclusively through interpretive dance and smoke signals, though critics argue this may actually be an improvement.

Microsoft stock plummeted 99.7% as traders realized that Excel — essentially a giant table — would need to be reformatted into some sort of circular arrangement. Apple hastily announced "iFloor," a revolutionary new product that's basically an iPad taped to the ground.

Grant's office released a statement (via carrier pigeon) defending the legislation: "We stand firm in our commitment to eliminating the table menace. If a few minor inconveniences like the collapse of modern civilization are the price we pay for defeating these four-legged data-encrypting monsters, then so be it."

The opposition has called for Grant's resignation, though they've been forced to make this demand while lying flat on the parliament floor, dramatically reducing the visual impact of their outrage.

---

NOTE: This is a satirical news piece about the absurd consequences of a panic-driven ban on tables. The escalating absurdity from personal inconvenience to complete societal collapse is classic satirical structure.

---

But this is NOT Satire!

Announcing: CyborgZOSCII — ZERO encryption ZERO ciphering 100% SECURE!!!

https://github.com/PrimalNinja...

ZERO encryption ZERO ciphering ZERO login 100% SECURE public bulletin board!!!
http://daibolic.com/

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