Replace yourself... (Score 2, Informative)

It appears you may want to keep them as a friend, or at least close that if they want another computer in the future you can help them out with that. So you want to just stop supporting their occasional "issues". Then refer them to a support service. The only one that comes to my mind is My Computer Works (http://www.mycomputerworks.com). There may be others in your area, maybe the local Best Buy or something. I don't work for this company, but I personally know several employees and they are helpful to the people I *used* to support. It accomplishes your goals of off-loading their regular support, without something stupid like running over their dog or raising rates. Good luck.