Veronika's Journal: Christmas Cake

Birthday was just over. I am another year older. ~Sigh~ This is bad...
I never really look forward to my birthday. For one, my parents never celebrated our birthdays when we were kids - busy to make ends meet. Birthday celebration was too much a luxury. And gradually it doesn't seem to matter anymore. Whereas friends are usually busy with new year celebration and forget about it. I used to be pissed. But not this year. I guess I am a little wiser after all.
Looking back, last year wasn't really a good year for me. I did went for an unforgettable trip to Mongolia. But when I came back, things got rough at work. So afterwards, I left the company in really bad shape. But blessing in disguise is a funny thing. Because of the depressing period, I got to know a friend who was 10,000 miles away and yet felt so close. Nonetheless, when something reached its peak, it could only go down. A roller coaster ride that proved to be too much for me. Stress can really wear people out. Never good at coping with pressure. In fact, one of my new year resolution is to quit my current job and have a 3-month break (but just had a reality check with my friend and she asked me to wake up, not possible, not until I pay back my loan).
I have also looked at my relationships with people around me. Some makes me feel good, some bad; sometimes good, sometimes really bad. I can't help but wonder: is it my fault when things turn bad? Or am I just the clean face fireman? I don't know. Hopefully I can find the answer this year.
Anyway, japanese call girls older than 25 christmas cakes and I am official one now. ~Sigh~ (I told myself I was going to be absolutely cool about ageing. That proves to be difficult.) I was so dreaded about this birthday so I bought an Estee Lauder perfume to calm myself (:P). Now I know what is my no. 1 priority this year - no more retail therapy; no more impulsive purchase!!!