Have you thought for just a single moment that maybe you're not the target audience? Maybe not everyone needs a fucking web browser in every gadget they own.

Ok, first, grab a crock pot. Drop in two beef boullion cubes. Drop in cut up potatoes, onions, carrots, celery, etc. Cut up the beef & throw in on top. Pour two little cans of tomato sauce over & at least one of those cans again full of water (in other words, bring it near, but not to, the top of the pile). Plug in crock pot & put on the lid. Turn it to low & leave it for at least 15 hours. Come home & ladle some out. Yippy. Dinner. Leave leftovers in covered crockpot & put in fridge. Reheat in crockpot for about 30mins or more to suit. Feel free to spice (I just put out the spice cabinet & let everyone please their own taste buds).