Comment Your grammatical well-being (Score -1, Offtopic) 92
Hello slashdot creatures,
It was brought to my attention that my name has come up in recent slashdot posts. It's true, I've been away for a LONG time. I am a VERY busy person, enjoying every single minute of my completely unique and never-to-be-repeated-for-all-eternity life. I have little time to waste with you idiotic freaks. Nevertheless, I am taking this opportunity to GRACE you with the knowledge that I will once again TRY to take a few minutes out of my beautifully constructed life, to post here with my profound grammatical insights.
You might be saying, "Teh Grammar Patroll, how are we to gain the benefit of your wisdom, if we don't know when or where you will post?" You might also wonder to yourself, "Teh Grammar Patroll, how can you help us with our written communication skills, now that slashdot is limiting people to two logged-in posts per day?"
Those are good questions. Unfortunately for you, I cannot give you advance knowledge of my posts. I'm not superstitious by nature, but I guess in this case a certain amount of "luck" will take you a long way.
As for the second question, again, you will just have to get along with whatever I can give you. It's not my fault slashdot "editors" are so short sighted.
Which brings me to another point. Why do I post here? Again, good question. 99.9% of you contemptible creatures do not even deserve to receive the benefit of my knowledge. If I met you on the street, I would not bother to give you the time of day. I can't say with 100% certainty why I post here - I suppose even a misanthropic technical writer can have a soft spot for his fellow humans, even if he does find them utterly repulsive. I do admit that part of why I post here is to at least try to do my bit to reverse the complete lack of competence among todays "writers" and self-proclaimed editors. You might joke about me and my posts but I'm telling you, you will get NOWHERE in this world if people don't listen to you, and nobody is going to listen to you if you cannot communicate without sounding like an uneducated embicile.
Another, slightly more lighthearted reason why I post here is to demonstrate - as if we needed any more demonstration of this - that slashdot's comment moderation system is ill-conceived, broken, and ultimately worthless. Are my posts off topic? You bet they are, punk. My posts are also the most thoughtful, informative posts you will find on this website, bar none. My posts DEFY moderation. I labor on, in the hopes that the owners of this site will see the folly of their ways, and at least try to listen to what their readership is telling them instead of going off on their Jerry-Springer "whatever, dude" power trips (that means you, Taco). This is probably a complicated exercise in futility on my part, but hey, I have to try.
So take heart you hateful, worthless, witless little drones, and look for more of my posts in the near future.
Take care,
Teh Grammar Patroll
PS I'm sorry to tell you that I have NO time to read and respond to your replies to my posts. In the vast majority of cases, your messages are UNWORTHY of a response from me. In any case, slashdot is going to limit me to two posts per day, and why would I waste them on you?
It was brought to my attention that my name has come up in recent slashdot posts. It's true, I've been away for a LONG time. I am a VERY busy person, enjoying every single minute of my completely unique and never-to-be-repeated-for-all-eternity life. I have little time to waste with you idiotic freaks. Nevertheless, I am taking this opportunity to GRACE you with the knowledge that I will once again TRY to take a few minutes out of my beautifully constructed life, to post here with my profound grammatical insights.
You might be saying, "Teh Grammar Patroll, how are we to gain the benefit of your wisdom, if we don't know when or where you will post?" You might also wonder to yourself, "Teh Grammar Patroll, how can you help us with our written communication skills, now that slashdot is limiting people to two logged-in posts per day?"
Those are good questions. Unfortunately for you, I cannot give you advance knowledge of my posts. I'm not superstitious by nature, but I guess in this case a certain amount of "luck" will take you a long way.
As for the second question, again, you will just have to get along with whatever I can give you. It's not my fault slashdot "editors" are so short sighted.
Which brings me to another point. Why do I post here? Again, good question. 99.9% of you contemptible creatures do not even deserve to receive the benefit of my knowledge. If I met you on the street, I would not bother to give you the time of day. I can't say with 100% certainty why I post here - I suppose even a misanthropic technical writer can have a soft spot for his fellow humans, even if he does find them utterly repulsive. I do admit that part of why I post here is to at least try to do my bit to reverse the complete lack of competence among todays "writers" and self-proclaimed editors. You might joke about me and my posts but I'm telling you, you will get NOWHERE in this world if people don't listen to you, and nobody is going to listen to you if you cannot communicate without sounding like an uneducated embicile.
Another, slightly more lighthearted reason why I post here is to demonstrate - as if we needed any more demonstration of this - that slashdot's comment moderation system is ill-conceived, broken, and ultimately worthless. Are my posts off topic? You bet they are, punk. My posts are also the most thoughtful, informative posts you will find on this website, bar none. My posts DEFY moderation. I labor on, in the hopes that the owners of this site will see the folly of their ways, and at least try to listen to what their readership is telling them instead of going off on their Jerry-Springer "whatever, dude" power trips (that means you, Taco). This is probably a complicated exercise in futility on my part, but hey, I have to try.
So take heart you hateful, worthless, witless little drones, and look for more of my posts in the near future.
Take care,
Teh Grammar Patroll
PS I'm sorry to tell you that I have NO time to read and respond to your replies to my posts. In the vast majority of cases, your messages are UNWORTHY of a response from me. In any case, slashdot is going to limit me to two posts per day, and why would I waste them on you?
