Are you looking hard enough for a solution to the problem? I encounter businesses all the time who want their IT firm to work on site. They also have problems trusting anyone with remote access to the data, especially when confidential medical or financial records are involved.
There are competent IT support firms that will do on site administration for you. In some cases, they can even be more affordable than the remote support types. You just have to look around! If you're in the Phoenix, Arizona area, my PC Techs is one example. They will provide an expert who will come to your business every time you need, and will work on site as long as you need them: http://www.mypctechs.com/
Considering the track record of tech companies and their quest to save a few bucks at the expense of American jobs, it's just a matter of time before all of your data in the cloud winds up overseas. Who has access to read through your sensitive documents when that time comes? The article shows how easy it us for one cloud provider to uproot the collective data of thousands of companies and move it anywhere they please. Where will they move the data next? Read this article, "Your data in a cloud over India": http://techclub.mypctechs.com/?p=364
There are ways to block DOS attacks other than killing all legitimate website traffic.
Alternative scenarios:
Skynet?
Something went wrong in the Black Mesa Research Facility?
Bored at work pranksters in the AT&T central office?
Secret CIA plot?
3) It doesn't matter if you suck or are being owned in an online game, chances are either your opponents or your own Xbox will crash and overheat. So it equals out the playing field.