The great thing about Republicans' "alternative facts" is they cloud memory until reality loses all meaning.

Sir Ives is putting the final touches on the new banana shaped case. A pro banana from Apple? Magical.

... with the steam generated by burning naturally clean coal. Progress, Republican style.

Everyone said I was daft to build a wall on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. And that one sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, and then sank into the swamp. MAGA!

Buggy implementation of backdoors for governments.

Put a red shirt on him and beam him down to the planet surface.

Now bikes can drive people into a lake instead of people dumping bikes there. Be nice to the machines or feel their wrath.

The poll raises three questions:
What constitutes a language?
Do you count closely related languages separately?
How well do you know a language?

It would be more informative if the poll spelled those out. My preference would be:
List general purposes languages, not task specific languages. (Python, yes. HTML, no.)
C variants count as one. Assembly variants count as one. Shell scripts count as one.
List languages you actually used to create something.

Unfortunately, the universe refuses to bend to my will, no matter how much I shake my fist at the sky.

I don't want to go on the cart. I feel happy! I feel happy!

You should always wear socks. It's what separates us from the animals. Except for pets that humans dress up. But, that's just wrong, regardless of the month.

Nonsense. I'm sure every Tuesday will be soylent green day. Om nom nom!

Donnie, the con man
Was a lying empty soul
With a Putin pipe, a Pinocchio nose
And a scam made out of coal..

Microsoft's updates are like a box of chocolates...

Tell this person you could only find 7199 RPM SSDs, but if they spin in an office chair while using the system it will make up the difference.

Computer: I've got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. [scans target]
Target: I reveal my Inmost Self unto my God: MAGA!
Computer: Sigh.