SolemnDragon's Journal: Let Ophelia Show You How It's Done...

...bad morning.

You know it's a bad morning when you decide to go to work smelling like alcohol just because your boss might find it a refreshing change from your usual tardiness.

And it isn't for any GOOD reason. On top of my bathroom drains being backed up and my other unusual morning adventures today (including computer issues, kitchen plumbing issues, and the cat having an upset stomach) i knocked stuff down in my fridge at the last possible minute, and one of the bottles i'm using to brew cherry liquer in broke, splashing me head to toe with cherry vodka. Fortunately not one of the ones with sugar in it yet.

So i have to pick up vodka and cherries on the way home and try to make another jar full, but in the meantime i had to clean up the mess and get out the door. I will have to do more cleaning of the fridge when i get home. *sigh* Bad morning. Bad, bad, bad.

And i got to sit next to monkey girl on the train. Yeah, monkey girl. As in, "monkey see, monkey do." And daoine, she was wearing the ugly sundress with the neon green leaves pattern on it that we saw. Monkey girl is the girl who decides to copy your actions. At 7 AM on the subway, a girl decides she wants to play second grade and copy my actions? Yeah. I'm working on stuff on my handheld and she takes out hers. I figure, hey, coincidence, and put it away- she puts away hers. Takes it out again when i do. I change the cd in my player and she fiddles with HER mp3 player. I drink water, she takes out her water bottle every time. I put away mine, she puts away hers. More than three times is not a coincidence, so i think about this.

Fine. You want to play, i'll play. I'm having a morning so bad that a fistfight couldn't ruin it. C'mere, honey, let ophelia show you how it's done. NOBODY outcrazies ophelia, remember hamlet? She wins, by doing something even he's not prepared to follow. Of course, my version is offensive rather than self-destructive.

So the next time you get stuck next to a monkeychild, try this: Pick up your handheld (if you're as obsessive as i am, you disinfect it once in awhile anyway) and give it a lick. That's right, a lick. Right across the screen. And smile while you do it. The guy sitting next to you might never be the same, but monkey girl will have something real to talk to her therapist this week.

I'm still in a horrendous mood, and almost got in an argument with someone who was offering me friendly advice this morning, but at least i won the monkey girl confrontation. If the lick hadn't done it, i was prepared to start pouring water on my suit (to wash out the cherry juice/vodka, but she doesn't need to know that) and on her shoes (oh, did i do that?) and anonymously report her as carrying a suspicious parcel and behaving strangely.... I'm kidding, i wouldn't have her detained by the metro police just for acting like a creep. At least, not that i'll admit in my journal.

Talk about your bad mornings. I should have just had the vodka for breakfast and called in drunk, but i'm trying for my 'not an alcoholic' merit badge in the dragon scouts...

Monkeygirl?

[KshGoddess]

And the dragon without a brick... ah, that's someone who could use a good bricking. If she tried to retaliate, another bricking and an explanation. "no, no, no. The way it works is if *I* brick you, *you* brick you, too."

*grin*

Re:Monkeygirl?

[sparky4]

I like your reasoning ! we have a few garden bricks left over, on the largish side and textured for better gripping and more interesting bruise patterns.

I am off to bed Ms. Dragoness, you have my permission to head on back home and try to start the day over... tomorrow morning sounds like a good time to start over.

Remind me to tell you a good example of environment over genetics this weekend, or whatever the terminology is that the brain squeezers use.

OMFG

[Tau Zero]

Pick up your handheld (if you're as obsessive as i am, you disinfect it once in awhile anyway) and

give it a lick.

I usually don't get belly-laughs in the morning, but this morning was a welcome exception! Thanks, SD!

Replying to your sig

[turg]

Moderators: If you don't know how to evaluate the truth of a claim, you cannot properly moderate it as "informative".

But it's telling you something you already knew to be true, that's not informative either

Re:Replying to your sig

[Tau Zero]

Just because I knew it, or could verify it, doesn't mean that it wasn't informative. What's old hat to you might be very illuminating to me, and vice versa.

Re:Replying to your sig

[turg]

Right, someone else can call it informative (if it's old hat to me) but I can't. Well, maybe I could if I knew that most people didn't know it, but that would be assuming that they're actually interested in knowing it :-)

Informative to whom?

[Tau Zero]

There's a lot of stuff that's old hat to me (as in, knew it cold before high school - and it's been a <ahem> while since then) but is still apparently news to a lot of Slashdotters. If I think something will be informative to them, I'll mod it as such.

What is depressing is being in a forum aimed at nerds and finding so many loud ones who appear never to have cracked a mid-level science textbook.

thanks

[KMAPSRULE]

thanks to this sentence Pick up your handheld (if you're as obsessive as i am, you disinfect it once in awhile anyway) and give it a lick.

I am now licking the coffee off of my monitor and keyboard..I have got to stop drinking my coffee while reading my morning slashdot!

Damn woman!!!

[arb]

You just made me laugh out loud! At least there's no-one here to question my sanity...

Licking your PDA... What will that girl come up with next? [Shakes head, walking away...]

Hail Eris!

[freejung]

Wow, that was a great exercise in applied absurdism. I'm sorry you had a bad morning, sol, but thanks for making the rest of ours a little better! ;-)

TOO funny

[TwilaForest]

Well, now I've learned two things about you...you're not crazy about alternative medicine and you have a GREAT sense of humor :) WHat will be next I wonder

Ophelia: The Tear Garden

[TPFH]

The Tear Garden is a collaborative project with members of Skinny Puppy and The Legendary Pink Dots. The lyrics alone probably don't do it justice. Download it from your favorite p2p. Actually, this was transcribed by people on a mailing list and I don't think they got all the lyrics. I'd have to read it while listening to the song.

(Amusing Story: Years ago late at night at a gothic/industrial dance club the song was playing, and a girl had wandered in just as the song was starting. She really got into it