Journal SolemnDragon's Journal: Lesser-known signs of the Apocalypse 10
1. The Rutabagas runneth orange as the sunflower. Herschel down in the basement came up with that one as we were writing down the signs, and no one's figured out what it means yet. But we're pretty sure that when the rutabagas start being orange, either the tint button needs a tweak, or we're all done for. On the other hand, Herschel's always been a little weird, even for a mystic. So it didn't go into print (let's face it, if you were copying the whole thing by hand, would you want to put in every single footnote?) but it's suspected GM crops might take care of this one sooner rather than later. We're rather more interested in how Herschel happened to know what a sunflower was, since the life of a mystic at the time of writing doesn't include those... and there isn't really a word for it in Amaraic... but he keeps ranting about someone named VahnGo, and insists that the stars run like water in a sky of sackcloth over a sea of blood. We kept that latter bit, it was pretty impressive.
2. The Five Merry Dwarves of the Apocalypse shall bowl their way across the Green Sward of the Sky. Their names are Harry, Crash-pin, Everett, Toodles, and Montague, if anyone's interested, and they have their 'five merry dwarves of the apocalypse' logo (which looks a lot like a stick figure barfight) sewn on the back of their nylon jackets. We wanted to tell them that the horsemen already were involved, but c'mon- they have their own jackets and bowling setup already! Stupid horsemen didn't even bring so much as a stirrup, let alone their own horses. So what were we going to say?
3. A Rain of Poorly Designed Kitchen Cabinetry Shall Plague the Land of the Caribou. In unrelated news, a fourth IKEA truck overturned on yet another overpass this week in Alaska, spilling allen wrenches and particle board over the traffic below. The trucks, delivering part the merchandise for the new store...
4. There Shall Be a Plague Of Bats and a Wave Of Hellfire Across the Night. Darn it, somebody torched the stadium again. Looks like the World Series is gonna get postponed again...
5. Malachi's mother shall finally... hey! you can't say that in here! *ahem* There shall be a smiting in the parking lot at four PM. drive carefully, oke? We tell you because we care.
6.The Wreckage of past ships shall sail against the horizon in warning of the coming tide of souls... On the bright side, the Hesperus, the Argo, and the Titanic are now taking passengers again. And they're actually less plague-ridden than the current cruise liners!
Sorry, folks. It's been a long day already. This may continue later after a few entries about Slashdot's Most Eligible.
Ummm... (Score:2)
(which, if you were curious, explains my journal... when operating on 8 hours of sleep over 60 hours (which included some significant drinking as well), don't write things for a public area...)
Still feeling weird with the new meds?
how to pronounce Van Gogh? (Score:2)
Speaking of which, is this truly the correct pronunciation? I heard some person on the radio last week, who'd I'd expect to know the "correct" pronunciation, saying "VanGuff". Even in the face of a show host still saying "VahnGo". I can see how you might pronounce it that way (given English's schitzophrenia over gh), but I'd never heard anyone else do that.
Re:how to pronounce Van Gogh? (Score:2)
Re:how to pronounce Van Gogh? (Score:1)
Re:how to pronounce Van Gogh? (Score:1)
You Are... (Score:2)
... a very peculiar individual indeed. Definitely a unique specimen, and definitely a Bostonian (or, close enough).
Alien wenches? (Score:2)
I'm still half asleep and I read this as 'alien wenches'. I said to myself "that doesn't make sense", but after thinking about it a bit more, it probably does explain the bizarre IKEA culture somewhat... Not wanting to offend the sensibilities of the Fair Dragon I will refrain from posting the remainder of my train of thought triggered by this misreading...
Number Seven: (Score:1)
Re:Number Seven: (Score:2)
3 -- a rain of poorly designed kittens? (Score:1)