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Comment Full transcript of the Apple Program for Children (Score 0) 352

"I'd Require All Children To Start Coding In 4th Grade. The best are assigned to debug iTunes indefinitely. The remainder are sent to the sweatshops to polish iPhone cases so they learn what happens to naughty little Apple Scouts who don't code hard enough.

"In 5th grade the darlings (those who aren't debugging iTunes) are tested again. The best are locked in a room with an Apple Watch until they think of a feature someone will pay money for. The rest spend the "school year" gluing shattered iPad screens back together to sell to the Asian market.

"In 6th grade the children are given one last chance to avoid manual labor. The best are sent to scour the technology sector for ideas Apple can steal--er...invent and bestow unto a rapturous public. The remaining recalcitrant Apple cubs are sent to the Cupertino mines to dig Jobs ore to feed the reality distortion generators.

As you can see, here at Apple we have a strong and comprehensive program for children."

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