The only remaining explanation is there might, in fact, be a third type of bacon... i.e. a cow bacon or chicken bacon.
Chicken bacon's been around for years.
The search continues for cow bacon, however.
Renting a car is fine if you're flying somewhere where such is available.
When I used to fly little Cessna 152s around the place we would often land at "airfields" that were little more than converted sheep paddocks with a gas pump off to the side. The nearest rental car place would have been 100 miles in any direction you cared to choose.
For that kind of flying, something like this would be practically nirvana. For flying between international airports, yes stick with the rental Chrysler or something...
If you had better tools, you could more effectively demonstrate your total incompetence.