There's a big difference between what your bible says, and what the bible-based religions out there actually teach. Bible =/= Religion. It is a book that many religions are loosely based on.

That's a bit of a false dichotomy. You can live to be old and skinny while having enjoyed the occasional triple bacon burger with extra cheese. If you make it a regular part of your diet than you may die fat and early.

Staring Jesse Eisenberg in his breakthrough role as yet another awkward, nerdy, soft-spoken teenager.

I lucked out when my PS3 was bricked by a firmware update last year. I had just purchased an 80gb fat PS3 refurbished online. I was a little wary of buying refurbished, but the price was just too good to pass up on an 80gb with backwards compatibility. I hooked it up and it worked fine, until I let the update run. Bricked it immediately. After some research online I found other people who had the same problem. They explained a lengthy process of calling Sony support and eventually shipping their console to them for repairs-a process I wasn't interested in waiting for since I just bought the damned thing. So I boxed it back up, called the company that sold it to me and told them it never worked when I got it. They took it back, sent me a new one a few days later, and I've had no problems since.

There I fixed that for you.

They say if you give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day, but if you teach a man to fish.... then he's gotta get a fishing license, but he doesn't have any money. So he's got to get a job and get into the social security system and pay taxes, and now you're gonna audit the poor cocksucker, cuz' he's not really good with math. So he'll pull the IRS van up to your house, and he'll take all your shit. He'll take your black velvet Elvis and your Batman toothbrush, and your penis pump, and that all goes up for auction with the burden of proof on you because you forgot to carry the one, cuz' you were just worried about eating a fucking fish, and you couldn't even cook the fish cuz' you needed a permit for an open flame. Then the health department is going to start asking you a lot of questions about where are you going to dump the scales and the guts. 'This is not a sanitary environment', and ladies and gentlemen if you get sick of it all at the end of the day... not even legal to kill yourself.