Jeb is just as stupid as his brother. In the press conference about the most recent hurricane he was asked about how the money would be funneled to Florida. Well first of all the guy that controls the money for stuff like this just happens to be from Florida and of course there's his idiot brother. Reminds me of Fahrenheit 911's scene showing how everyone involved in Florida's election distortion had relations to bush.

Anyway.. So his answer was that it might be attached to other items but he doesn't want it to. Like he said it might be attached to the homeland security bill (so if a democrat votes against it then they'll vote against storm relief and be villified) and he said many things are being attached. For example South Dakota drought relief is being attached and he went on to say, "I don't know why it's important, but it is." Doesn't know why drought relief to South Dakota is important! Is he a complete moron! Where does he think his wheat comes from for his bread and the cookies (that he appear to enjoy). I'd rather see my money go someplace that will help improve food production rather than a corrupt, third world, state that affects me in no way. They may say it's important for tourism but tourism will move on to better places like California where you only get a big earthquake in a major area every 30 or 40 years or so.

I get a lot of fan mail. People want to meet me in person, install alternative OS on my hard drives, sleep with me, etc. To answer all the questions here's the Complete Guide to Sir Haxa1ot. :x: name = Sir Haxa1ot :x: piercings = 7(ears) :x: tattoos = None at the time but soon...I hope! :x: height= 5'3 :x: shoe size = 4 or 7 depends on the shoe :x: hair color = brown/blonde :x: siblings = 1 brother named Todd...eh

LAST... :x: movie you rented = Fuck I forgot...I think is was...blah nm I did forget... :x: movie you bought = I dont buy Movies :x: song you listened to = ummmmmmmm I think is was...Take em' all :x: song that was stuck in your head = nothing at the time :x: cd you bought = The Toy Dolls "We're Mad!- The Anthology...well it was a trade... :x: cd you listened to = Blanks 77- Tanked and Pogoed :x: person you've called = Crystal...this morning :x: person that's called you = Germ :x: tv show you've watched = ummmm Punked I think :x: person you were thinking of = Germ...and Crystal....haha

DO... :x: you have a crush on someone = Yes :x: you wish you could live somewhere else = Yes, I sure do :x: you think about suicide = Nope, I dont really think I have a need to I have everything I need and want at the moment :x: you believe in online dating = I was told I could meet supermodels on Slashdot :x: others find you attractive = Yeah, but Germ is still way hotter then them :x: you want more piercings = Sure do...16 more ahha :x: you like cleaning = at times.... :x: you like roller coasters = ohhhhh baby! :x: you write in cursive or print = Print cuz im lazy

FOR OR AGAINST... :x: long distance relationships = For, but it all depends :x: using someone = Against :x: suicide = For/Against....Depends... :x: killing people = Against :x: teenage smoking = For :x: driving drunk = Depends... :x: gay/lesbian relationships = For :x: soap operas = Against....I can only take so much crap

HAVE YOU... :x: ever cried over a girl= yes...but not any more...I hope :x: ever cried over a boy = yes, Darl McBride :x: ever lied to someone = Yes :x: ever been in a fist fight = A few :x: ever been arrested = Nope

WHAT... :x: shampoo do you use = Anything that smells good :0) :x: shoes do you wear = My 14 hole docs or my Creepers :x: are you scared of = subpoenas

NUMBER... :x: of times I have been in love?= 3 :x: of times I have had my heart broken? = 2 :x: of hearts I have broken? = too many...:0( :x: of girls I have kissed? = none :x: of boys I have kissed? = Wow I cant even tell you that...too hard... :x: of girls I've slept with? = 4 :x: of boys I've slept with? = I am not a MacOS fan :x: of guys you've obsessed over who wouldn't date you: see above :x: of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?= prob alot but its never about me :x: of scars on my body? = Alot :x: of things in my past that I regret? = A few things but they are not really a big deal... :x: of guys that have seen you naked?= 3 :x: number of girls that have seen you naked?= 21

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE... :x: pretty - I could be...on good days :x: funny - Yes...in a strange way...but i do make alot of people laugh... :x: hot - Wish I could say yes :x: friendly - At times :x: amusing - hahah yes...and when im not sober thats a BIG YES! :x: ugly - Yeah most of the time :x: loveable - Yup :x: caring - For Sure :x: sweet - yup :x: dorky - ummm sure...

favorite:
5 letter word: Drunk
actor/actress: None
Candy: Not sure
Cartoon: The Simpsons
Cereal: Honey Bunches of Oats
Chewing gum: Anything minty
Color(s): Black and HOT HOT pink...
Color nail polish: Clear...
Day of week: Friday or any day I have sex :0)
Least fave day: Mondays and when I get yelled at
Flower: Rose....a red one!
Jello flavor: EWWWWWW
Jewelry: Neck Stuff
Special skills/talents: Smoking and making "Drugs" disapear!Summer/Winter: winter
Trampolines or swimming pools: All I have to say is NO!

|| Person who last.. ||

Slept in your bed: ...Anna
Saw you cry: My mom
Made you cry: My mom
You went to the movies with: Germ3
Yelled at you: My mom
Sent you an email: crystal

|| Have you ever.. ||

Said "I love you" and meant it?: yes
Gone out in public in your pajamas: none
Kept a secret from everyone: yes
Cried during a movie: kinda....haha
Planned your week based on the TV Guide: nope
Been on stage:yes
Been to New York: no
Been to California: YEAH ALL THE TIME!
Hawaii: Yes
China: Fuck NO!
Canada: haha I wanna go...
Europe: I want to
Asia: NO!
South America: no
Australia: no
Wished you were the opposite sex: a few times
What time is it now?: 3:04pm
Apples or bananas?: bananas
Blue or red?: blue
Walmart or target?: walmart
Spring or Fall?:Fall
What are you gonna do after you finish this?: Study...like I should be...
What was the last meal you ate?: Pop Tart
Are you bored?: no
Last noise you heard?: The Sound of Crystals Voice hehe
Last smell you sniffed?: not sure

|| Friendship/Love ||

Do you believe in love at first sight?: eh I dotn know
Do you want children one day & if so, how many?: yeah...3?
Most important thing to you in a friendship is: Trust

|| Other Info ||

Criminal record?: nope
Do you speak any other languages?: nope
Last book you read: "KILL ME PLEASE"
Name some of your favorite things in your bedroom?: EVERYTHING!
Worst feeling in the world: Being Sad
Who you love: GERM!
Who you miss: GERM!

|| You ||

Nickname(s): Manda
Initials: AMP
How old do you look?: 12
How old do you act?: I dont know
Glasses/Contacts: no
Braces: no
Do you have any pets?: A mouse and a cat
You get embarrassed: a bit
What makes you happy?: My girlfriend and All my friends
What upsets you?: My Family and when I try and I still Fail

|| Finish the sentence: ||

I Love to...Be Happy
I Miss...Germ
I Wish...I had all A's
I Hope...This weekend is as good as im thinking its going to be Annoyed by...stupid people
I Am...a good person
I Want to Be...Wanted
I Would Never...want to hurt my friends
I'd Rather...be smoking
I Am Tired of...School
I Will Always be...Myself and no one else

Got to Las Vegas a couple hours ago, I wanted to get here earlier, but the flight was delayed, and JC was trying everthing in his power to get me to take a bus or something, so finallyI had to tell him that I put my muddy shoes on the bed, and when he went upstairs to check, I grabbed my bags, hopped in the car and left. >.> He's gonna be pissed when he gets here, but..I had to do what I had to do.

Trace is having a blast, he's been here longer then I have, and he brought his lady with him, and I'm pretty sure he brought a couple other friends along with him like usual, and I'll end up paying for everything for them, which is cool..I guess, as long as it isn't a ridiculous amount of money that I have to spend. I almost had a heart attack when I got fitted for the outfit Trace picked for me, and I found out how much I was going to be spending on it.

I'm staying at the Bellagio, I'd never stayed here before, and I actually wanted a room at the Venetian for obvious reasons, but they were all booked up, so I settled for this. I mean, it's not like I don't..think it's nice or anything, because it's gorgeous but..I have fond memories at the Venetian. I'll just have to make some more fond memories here.

This is the room you're at when you first walk in, it's nice, a little girly though, and sort of cluttered. JC will like it. I just hope I can keep it looking just as nice.

And this is the bedroom, see that bed? A lot of sex will be had on that bed, every hour on the hour, sex, sex, and nothing but sex, maybe a little love, but mostly sex.

I slept better last night than I have in a really long time.

Also, Andie never came home from her study session.

Coincedence? I think not. Rather, I think it's because for the first time since moving in this apartment, I've been able to breathe fresh air at night. Ooooh nooo the window is open we're all going to diiiiiiiiiiiiiieeee!

But she *still* hasn't been home and that's a little strange. If she doesn't come home tonight I'm going to start worrying. For now no one else seems to miss her.

I got new pikkytures of Aidan in the mail. He's so cute.

Also, the new Schedule of Classes is out. Math 23B is taught by the same unintelligible guy who teaches 23A. Yipes. Hopefully I'll have a TA who speaks English next time around. Jeff wants me to take some sort of geology/film class with him. I just hope it doesn't conflict with anything else, cuz it seems kinda nifty. "Watch this movie and talk about why it's scientifically inaccurate. Repeat."

Work tonight, followed by "School of Rock" with Jeff and...who else was coming? Nikki, I think, and possibly Nan. Now I don't remember anymore. Eh.

Time to get changed.

there are about 10 volunteers at PHA today, and hardly and patients. one of the other volunteers has brought in some photographs. i'm in a lot of them. i don't remember posing for any of these, but they are really beautiful. in one, i sit on a chair in a green field, leaning back. i'm wearing a plaid skirt and black lipstick. my hair is bright and my eyelashes are long. there is a whole series of pictures of me standing in a bathtub. i think i took them myself. there is a full-length mirror placed at either end of the tub, and i am dressed in bondage gear. the lights are low. my figure is reflected over and over again in the mirror. the photo looks like a whole crowd of girls standing on a stage. i start cutting the pictures up into little strips, saving only the most important parts. i turn them face-down whenever someone walks by. jamie mcmurry, another volunteer, shows up. when he's here, i have to put away the pictures. he's very strict about waiting room conduct. he thinks it's necessary to constantly pay every bit of attention to the kids. he walks up to me. i'm sitting next to the girl who brought the pictures. he asks us, "where are you sitting?" i point to one of the little tables in the middle of the room and tell him, "now we're sitting there." i move there and start reading to some children. a little girl lights a candle and then walks to her mother. i blow out the match just before it burns her fingers. she wants to roast marshmallows. she has one stuck onto a twig, ready to hold over the flame. i tell her that she has to sit near the candle to do it. her mother asks that i move the candle to this side of the table, so the it will be easier to keep an eye on. after i get them set up, a boy asks me for two donuts. there is a shelf full of them, high above our heads. he wants the chocolate frosted ones. i have to stand on a stool to reach them. i decide he can only have one. i tell him, "if you finish it before you leave, i'll give you the second one." he has to leave just a few moments later. as the boy's mother drags him out of the room, jamie notices the donut. he gives me an evil look. i assure him that the boy requested the donut, i didn't offer it.

i've fallen in love with a guy from my class who goes crazy every night. he wanders the streets wearing dirty, baggy clothes. he breaks into the library after it closes and just sits there, staring out of a window. i start dressing like him and following him around. after the library, we always end up at a local bar. it's quite late by that time, and i have to go home. i leave him standing drunkenly in the gutter. one night, for some reason, mark comes home with me. i tell him that he can sleep in my bed. beth is in the bed, too, but she's already asleep. i'm sure it bothers mom that i have a guy sleeping in my bed, but she doesn't say anything. mark tries to kiss me and i push him away. he's so drunk that i am completely uninterested. i tell him that i was only offering my bed. the next morning, they bring me to a hospital. i don't feel sick, but apparently something is very wrong. mom brings me some packages that came in the mail. she has opened one of them. it's full of painkillers that i don't remember ordering. mom is in tears when she tells me, "just don't get caught by the police." one of the other packages contains an umbrella. this umbrella company has been sending me a new one each month, and i don't know why. mom admits that she signed me up to the umbrella-of-the-month club. it's $10 a month, which seems ridiculous. my purple umbrella from last month has faded to grey, but it is not worn out yet. i give mom the new, bright purple umbrella. beth brings me some broccoli, but it's the wrong kind. i ask her to find my journal. she brings me a newspaper instead, so i write on that. some friends come to help me escape. i plan to stalk that guy tonight, like i normally do, but it's difficult with all of these friends with me. i have the pills in my purse, and i'm terrified that someone is going to search me. we stop at a hotel so i can use the bathroom. i have to go behind the check-in counter to reach it. there is only one stall, and i spend a long time inside. i want to hide the pills better, but i realize that there are security cameras everywhere. each one moves in a particular pattern. i try to find a moment when they will all be pointing away from me, but that moment never comes. i give up and leave the bathroom. a long line has formed. most of the people waiting are from a nearby goth club, but my friends are at the front of the line. i go back into the bathroom with them. again we take a long time, holding up the line even more. when we finally leave the hotel, i realize that this street is familiar. the bar where my crush goes is right next door. i walk over to the entrance, where i realize that i was wrong. this is actually that goth club. the bar is the next door over.

I've never been close with my parents. My mom is always pinpointing something she doesn't like about my 20-year-old sister and I. Maybe this is why we both have really low self-esteem. My dad was the jokester in the family; he was the one who usually kept things going for us.

However, a couple months ago we found out that he had been talking to a girl on the Internet from Taiwan. To make a long and ugly story short, he left us for this girl who is 20! My dad is 48 -- I think that it is incredibly disgusting. I no longer talk to my dad. He has made it clear that he doesn't want me in his life anymore. My mother and I don't get along and never have. Our personalities clash and we really can't stand to be near each other.

Things are hell at home and I'm getting more and more depressed. On top of my family situations, other things in my life have been getting me down too: I recently lost my grandfather, a boyfriend, and a best friend. I don't think I can stay in my home environment with my mother because she makes me feel worse. I am just very lost and lonely and I am seeking help from anybody who can offer it.