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Journal SiliconJesus's Journal: Dear President Bush 13

Journal by SiliconJesus

Dear President Bush:

I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements. I know you can help with this. I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, Immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that I'm on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.

2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.

3. All government forms need to be printed in English.

4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.

5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.

6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.

7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.

8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.

9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any effort to learn local traffic laws.

10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English.

11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.

12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, and don't enforce any labor laws or tax laws.

13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on the economy.

I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that Pres. Fox won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.

However, if he gives you any trouble, just invite him to go quail hunting with your V.P.

Thank you so much for your kind help.

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Dear President Bush More

Dear President Bush

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  • Many, many thanks.

  • 1. Actually, I'd like to have that for everyone. Pity that it doesn't exist in America, not even for immigrants.

    2. Fine, but those loads of Spanish-speaking Latinos who are citizens (who pay taxes and vote) or legal immigrants (who pay taxes) still have the right to demand materials be available in Spanish, barring a law mandating English be the official language (which, by the way, it isn't, nor do I think it should be).

    3. See #2.

    4. See #2.

    5. See #2.

    6. Whatever, let them fly the flag any way they

    • Comment removed based on user account deletion
      • The world will give you what you deserve.

        Yup, I am gleefully happy to report that it gave me two great kids and a wife I'm grateful to have, and a job where I can work when I feel like it in the field I enjoy working in the most, and clients I enjoy working with, with projects I'm eager to do because they're interesting and worthwhile, and I'm in a church and in various clubs where I meet interesting people, occasionally going out for a beer. Best of all, I'm self-employed and in control of my own destiny

    • Come on, guys. Can't you see that this was posted tongue-rather-strongly-in-cheek?

      However, we do need to put more thought and coherence into our immigration policy. I'm all for anyone who wants to come to this country being welcome. However, we do need to make sure that those people come _legally_. Maybe there need to be more avenues to legal immigration. Maybe we need to provide more obvious information on how to immigrate legally. But, no matter what, the current situation, helpful as it is to corpo

    • Well, you can always head North instead of South ...

      The only issue I see is the 4th of July celebrations - the Kanuckistanis WILL make fun of you if you try to claim you can get drunk drinking American beer.

      • the Kanuckistanis WILL make fun of you if you try to claim you can get drunk drinking American beer

        That's because they've never had Golden Monkey [victorybeer.com]. We don't export the good stuff.

        BTW, could you explain why said Kanuckistanis feel so compelled to keep pointing out how great Canada is. My mother-in-law is living with a Canadian and all I ever hear is about all the great stuff they have in Canada and what a veritible Eden it is. Yet he's been living and working in the US, and even got citizenship. Is a refl
        • BTW, could you explain why said Kanuckistanis feel so compelled to keep pointing out how great Canada is. My mother-in-law is living with a Canadian and all I ever hear is about all the great stuff they have in Canada and what a veritible Eden it is. Yet he's been living and working in the US, and even got citizenship. Is a reflexive inferiority thing? Because it seems childish.

          You haven't heard too many American ex-pats, then. :-P

          Cheers,

          Ethelred

        • BTW, could you explain why said Kanuckistanis feel so compelled to keep pointing out how great Canada is

          Well:

          1. we got rid of Celine Dion, and you took her. That's a + for us and a - for the US right there.
          2. We have winter. You have Dubya. That's because we got first pick ...
          3. In terms of physical size, if you look at a map (or the CIA fact book) we're bigger, we're on top ... if we were in jail, you'd be our bee-atch

          Seriously, we've still got room to expand, lots of resources, budget surpluses for th

          • And while we have more guns per capita than the US, our murder rate is 1/3.

            Now that's a stat I can get behind. But you can't hold all American responsible for Celine Dion or GM. I can't believe Saturn is justnow getting around to a hybrid. WTF.

            Look, I dig Canada. Love Rush. Think weed should be legal. And, yeah, I voted for W. Deal with it...there weren't any alternatives.
            It's not that I dislike Canada, but every time a Canadian opens their mouth, it's like they gotta make the 'and I'm Canadian' poin

            • When you look at the big picture, we're all in this together ... global warming, diminishing resources, overpopulation, pollution, war, disease ...

              It would be nice for the politicians to set the example for once, about how patriotism can be overdone to the point where we forget that when a neighbour has a problem, it's our problem as well (btw: that DOES'T mean we're taking Celine Dion back - but we WILL share our beer).

              • global warming: Stopped in 1998 [telegraph.co.uk]
                diminishing resources: Seem to be renewing... [rense.com]

                I'm not totally sold on the 'green' view of the world. I'm not sold on the 'red' version either. I know both sides have an axe to grind, and think the truth probably lies somewhere in the middle.

                • Interestingly, the two 21-year periods mentined in the article coincide nicely with the 22 year period of the sun's magnetic field cycle. The problem is, we're adding our own stuff to it, and it seems we passed a "tipping point" a few decades ago - we WERE supposed to be entering a period of long-term (by this I mean thousands of years) cooling, but it hasn't happened ...

                  But let's junk every single environmental consideration, and look at the core problem. There just aren't enough resources for everyone,

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