Pffft, a rifle. A real man goes into the woods naked and unarmed, and kills his prey by ripping out its throat with his teeth.




And a real woman tells him to stay the hell out of the house until he's hosed himself off.

Remember, kids: before installing your new IP6 light bulbs, make sure to memorize the location of the electrical plug for your router so that you can cycle the power in the dark!

So, stay exactly where you are, then?

You're new here, aren't you?

we need to recognize that human fallibility is part and parcel of human brilliance

Yet another reason why the idiots pushing for instant replays in baseball should STFU.

I wouldn't complain too obnoxiously, or they might pee in your processor.

Did he invent the flying car? No? Then, he's no good to me.

Oh, sure. Now all of a sudden it's okay to show your genitals to the airport staff.

If nothing sticks to it, how does it stay on?

It reminds me of the old joke: a young man comes back from his first year as a college chemistry major. His father asks him what he is working on. "We're trying to create the universal solvent."

"What's that?"

"It's a liquid that will dissolve anything."

"What're ya gonna keep it in?"

Router? I never ever met 'er.

Hear, hear. As Guy Forsyth once said (while still with the Asylum Street Spankers):

"I would like to talk about something called 'Musical Darwinism.' If you go see a band, and they suck? Don't tip. That way, they'll die and next week there'll be another band. But if you see a band that you like, Ladies and Gentlemen, give dearly." (Track 11)

They've renamed it Go?

Had he not used them, a whole lot of O.J. Simpson web site jokes would not have possible.

...another tiny screen that I'm supposed to be happy squinting at.

...Eric Frank Russell.

Why? Why not. I reread all of his books over and over.

Seriously, though, what does Terra Uber Alles mean, anyway?