Please don't fall for the self-loathing. Many of the early differences in English were because British English continued to evolve while American English (and Noah Webster's dictionary) stayed closer to the British English at the time of the establishment of the American Colonies, so perhaps it was the British who were "dumbing down" many words. In reality, both American English and British English have continued to evolve.

For a modern take on whether Americans misspell/mispronounce, check linguistic experts Patricia T. O'Conner and Stewart Kellerman.
Why can’t the Americans learn to speak?
...or even
Did the Bard speak American?

Would someone translate that to English please?

The slashdot title should have been, "Man completely misunderstands the Monkey Shakespeare Theorem."

I noticed that the linked website has comments off, so no one can help the author understand what the theorem really means.

I think that the goal is that one of the many monkeys types an entire work of Shakespeare, not that many monkeys each type a very small segment of Shakespeare mixed in with gibberish, and then the many very small segments of Shakespeare are cut from the surrounding gibberish and combined by a person of intelligence into a work of Shakespeare.

The notice is very emotionally charged and very confrontational. To me, the tone communicates that the author, Russ Herrold, is not interested in reconciliation.

He uses phrases such as "You seem to have crawled into a hole ... and this is not acceptable." and "Please contact me, or any other signer of this letter at once, to arrange for the required information to keep the project alive at the 'centos.org' domain." These sound insulting and threatening.

He also throws around words such as "fear" and "kill." These are very emotionally charged words.

I don't know any of the details or background other than the notice, but the attacking wording sounds more like a blackmail, extortion, or coup attempt than a legitimate plea to find the project leader.