When I talk to non-managers, I always ask them things like how do you like working here, and what don't you like about it? Most companies that I've interviewed with do tend to allow the people in the group you're interviewing with to talk to candidates and make sure they're a good fit personality-wise, so when I get a chance to talk to non-management types, I always like to get their perspective on the company, the environment, and the work, since it tends to be different from that of the managers. And when I'm on the other side of it (talking to candidates for my company), I try to give them both the good and bad aspects of the job.

About 10 years ago, I learned the hard way that the questions you ask can determine whether or not you get a job. I had received an offer at a large company, and when I learned that some amount of on-call time was going to be required, I asked whether this was a 24-7 thing, or whether there was some kind of rotating system of shifts. They rescinded the offer just because I asked the question; I was really glad they did, because I didn't want to work for a manager who would do such a thing. (I ended up taking a different job in the same company, for more money and with no on-call requirement.)

Which brings me to another point: if your questions are reasonable and a company declines to offer you the job just because of that, you probably don't want to work for them anyway.

Except you guys are basically in agreement - he's says "look up to", you say "mutual respect".

No, he seems to be implying that women want to marry someone they consider better than they are, while I'm saying we want someone equal. Or at least I do. Again, I wouldn't presume to speak for my entire gender, especially as I'm pretty atypical. Could be I'm just weird. :-)

How many ladies do you know that are highly successful lawyers/doctors/businesswomen that are married to an assistant manager of a Burger King?

None; most of the women I know -- including myself -- are married to men who are at about the same professional level (though not necessarily in the same industry/occupation). Besides, I don't know any highly successful men who are married to fast-food workers, either...though that could also be because unskilled/uneducated women are way more likely to quit the workforce altogether and become stay-at-home moms than stay in a menial job once they marry. (Don't get me started on that...)

You have to be someone she can look up to.

Obviously I can't speak for every woman, but as one of the few females on here -- and one who doesn't want a man she can "look up to" -- I would have to dispute that one. Most of the women I know want a partner they can share life with, not a hero. Besides, it starts to get difficult to look up to someone when you know he pees on the toilet seat or leaves off the toothpaste cap; living together quickly removes the impressiveness of a partner and you're left with just another imperfect human being. If most women really do want someone they can look up to, I can understand why the divorce rate is so high. I would think that mutual respect is a way better foundation for a long and happy marriage than one person elevating the other. (And yes, I'm happily married to a fellow geek, and have been for 10 years.)