Sometime late last fall I received a call from a local business. They had a Unix box that was on the fritz, but unfortunately only had MCSE's on their support staff.

Recently I was shopping around for a high-end German-made sedan. The new ones were just way out of my price range so I was looking for a recent used model.

After searching everywhere I found an incredible deal. When I questioned the salesman about the extremely low price he explained that the previous owners had died in the vehicle. At first I thought "Yeah, so what?"

We had this developer that used to piss off everyone at the office. So one night I went to his workstation, removed Linux and installed Windows. Then I pissed all over his chair. After that I wanked off into his coffee mug just for good measure.

Still, I felt like the job wasn't done, so I pulled down my britches and dropped a load right on his keyboard. Then I grabbed his sweater off the back of his chair and used it to wipe my arse.