Re:Focus on recording her memories, not yours (Score 1)

Timothy, If your wife doesn't object, I also recommend that she record as much of her life story as she can. There are lots of ways to make this happen from no-tech (pencil and paper) to low-tech (cassette recorder) to high tech (Dragon dictation via headset and laptop, HD video). Your wife can choose the style she's most comfortable with. rwa2 has a great idea, above: "just set up the camera / recorder somewhere out of the way, and forget about it and have a pleasant discussion face to face." Paging through photo albums or going through piles of photos is an excellent way to trigger memories. Denis Ledoux teaches a simple writing method called PhotoScribe that takes advantage of these external holders of memory. The focus is on clear communication, not flowery prose, and he encourages everyone to write as if they were talking. Great stuff, even for someone who thinks they can't write. [[ This last bit is probably too touchy/feely for slashdot but I don't care because grief hurts. A lot. Gentle hugs to you, Timothy and to everyone else struggling with grief and loss. Nobody escapes it, but that doesn't make it easier to deal with. The book I recommend more than any other is How to Go On Living when Someone You Love Dies by Therese Rando. What I tell everyone is this: It made me feel (slightly) less crazy when my 4 year old nephew died of cancer. ]]