Alright. Those of you have probably read my latest thing on ask slashdot. If you're looking at this, then yeah, you probably are.

Anyway, that thing said nothing about where I am in my life, and what my skill set is.

I can code a bit. Nothing really fancy, I really need to work on Python, which is what I know the most about. Fuck Java.

I am slowly sinking myself into linux.

I work as an assistant systems guy at a campus library. My title is assistant systems guy, and I'm pretty much the intern-ish lacky for the system admin. I like doing the work I do- moving computers, doing basic work with websites, putting computers back together, taking them apart, setting up work stations, updating and setting up software, and doing work with imaging, providing basic tech support, basic network shit, etc. I like being the generic tech guy, and being pretty much the guy who they call when stuff goes wrong to fix it. I like fixing computer problems, and I like streamlining interfaces between users and the computer. I also like doing documentation and the like.

I had a job pretty much tutoring kids with photoshop, and I liked that too. Lots of free time to edit wikipedia. But ultimately, the new job is more fun, and I learn a lot more. I do like being a computer teacher, and I really enjoy helping people do stuff.

For a computer job, I guess I'm not looking for much. What I failed to mention in my post was that I ultimately am aiming for graduate school in psychology, and eventually my PhD so I can teach psych at some college after I do clinical work and churn out a few books. But in the mean time, I find tech works just fine for me, and I really am passionate about computers. And writing.

And for the few years while I do my best to accumulate money before starting something to work me through grad school, I want something to keep me afloat and give me monies for grad school. A job where I'm watching a server room, providing tech support for a small office, doing other tech support, or doing technical writing. And hell, if I find that tech work suits me better than psych, I may stay with it. I mean, I love learning about computers and being a techie, so that is feasible.

And the idea of being a tech writer is something that has occured to me. I mean, I write a ton. If you look at my blog, some of my posts are 4 pages long. I write in it about every day, and I write outside my blog. I write stories, and writing is one of my passions. If I could combine writing with software to form a magical writing about software job, I would be happy. That, or I'd go nuts, meet Tyler Durden, give up, and beat the shit out of a printer.

What this ultimately boils down to is a post graduation identity crisis, where I realize that I have no idea who I am, and college just prolonged this search. I do realize I love tech though, so I figured I might as well seek out /. as some sympathetic support. To those who provided, thank you. I read everything, and some of the posts were really good. To the one or two trolls, fuck off and go back to 4chan. To the rest of you who provided me with websites, books, and kind advice, you guys win an internet. Thanks from the bottom of my heart.

So... I'm going to just do a general reply, because I'm short on time.

To the ones that talked about medicine: I'm thinking about that. Not nursing, necessarly (my mom was a nurse, she won't let me be one because of the crap she dealt with... Until she got her masters and Neurology certification, and now she programs cyborgs...) But I am interested in maybe a technical job setting systems up that deals a lot with medicine.

As for the stuff coding bits, thanks a lot. I'll take those into account. I have actually been visiting my TA a lot and spending time with him trying to get these things down, and he's been really helpful. (He actually ran into my article. He was going to post something, but he didn't. Funny if he did... "Well, remember that stuff I said in office hours, just try some of the array problems on homework 4.")

As for the rest of the advice, I looked it all over and I thank you for it. It was very helpful, and supportive.

Now for an interesting little tidbit: I've found that when working with graphics (i/e making graphics, designing programs using doodles, etc.) I tend to code a lot more effectively. Could it be some sort of spatial intellect (shapes, lines, 2d arrays) vs. math intellect (arrays and iterators, etc.)? Who knows. The next project is going to be little map with bugs that eat grass. Sounds... Okay, I guess. Assuming I get a good partner and learn the intracies of java before that point, I'm hoping to turn it into a dungeon, and have adventurers slaying orcs. Or something.

My TA, Charlie (I'm still not sure if I shoul call him by Mr. R--- or Charlie, so I'll just call him Charlie. It suits him better.) said he was working on a basic dungeon program for me to bang around with at some point, so maybe I'll have a chance to do something cool.

http://www.apple.co.jp/quicktime/trailers/appleseed_large.html = w00t indeed.

Well, on that note, I have to wrap this blog entry up. And on that note, maybe I should start writing in this more often. It's a lot more... Interesting than my normal blog(s).

Peace out and keep up the comments, if you so see fit.

Oh, and just because I believe that one of the essential parts of making a better internet is the initiation of a visual image behind the lines of text, here is me.

Adios.

http://ask.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=04/02/24/233254&mode=thread

And my ensuing depression has been alleviated, realizing that now about 20-30 people I have never met are now making fun of me or making gross generalizations about me. And another 20-30 people are symphasizing. And the rest are suggesting things, or making random interesting comments.

Slashdot is great. Anyways, I'm happy that I actually got posted.

PS:

Real blog here.

I'm a metamoderator now. Gimme a fuggin gold star, I moderate the moderators! :-P

I feel powerful.

Wow. Havn't written here in ages. Anyhow, I got bored so I am now. Yeah... So anyhow, I had my Eng 103 final today, which was pretty boring. In calc we did a test thingy which was pretty fun, because it was like a group project. I still am confused by that whole chapter. And this damn war, that's getting to me. Bush bush bush.... And you too, wolfowitz. Anyhow, I'm just about to give up on all that other jazz and relax into my own little hot tub called watching the Children of Dune miniseries, part 3 sadly. In any scenario, stuff's been happening, and I have just been pretty stressed. Life seems so crowded, and there's no sign of me getting any scholarships. Shit. And I need a job and I need to learn how to drive and yet I am sitting here on my ass typing out my problems on a journal that nobody reads. Wow I'm pathetic, but oh well. Can't wait till the sakuracon, an event to make something out of my pathetic little life. Hmm. After I get done with college with a B.A. in CS or IT, I'll prolly get a desk job, start paying off my loans and get a little apartment, then... then will my life get really interesting... Ha. Maybe I need to look into my religion more to find out what to do. Find some purpose from the divine. Or maybe I should just find a really good computer game to blow my brains out on. Ha. Gotta love life.

Not a lot of time, but I moderated again today. W00t. Gotta love it. Now I gtg catch my bus. But w00t.

Well, maybe not. But it is my 18th birthday. W00t. I am draftbait. I can vote. I can smoke (But I dun wanna). I can buy a firearm. I can buy porn.

Gotta love it. Anyhow, had the weirdest dream where I blew up a toy store and a woman's clothes store at a mall because I was a terrorist. Pretty messed up dream to be having on your birthday... The worst part of it was I had to deal with the guilt and stuff, and nobody had any idea it was me and they had me attend all the funerals and stuff... Agh. Very weird.

Anyhow, today was ok, first day of the new semester. Have ominous feeling about calc, but I'm gonna work hard, and pray to god that I do well. PE looks boring, but I have Mike madden in the class, which is cool. Havn't talked to him in ages... Lunch was boring, no colin, but Conner. Thank goodness for Conner, he came and talked to me and we had good funness and such. Courtney kicked him in the balls though, and I symphasized and tried to chastize her, but of course that doesn't work. Bio was cool, because we have this foreign exchange student from australia who's really cute and nice and stuff. Learned I flunked the final in both my advanced classes, but also learned that everybody else did badly. I'm thinking I'll be getting a lot of Bs. I really need to crack down on studying or something... that or the teachers need to give easier finals. I think the latter is closer to the truth, seeing how everybody did horribly.

Well, walking to school was interesting, as I encountered Colin when I came to the school grounds, followed by Roxy, followed by Qwang. From there I went on to travel with them to the grounds, then we went our own ways. Still pissed about the finals grades, and worried about how much they'll hurt me, but I don't think there's a lot I can do. Hey, they are the most advanced classes, so yeah...

That's about all. Ta.

YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! I got moderator points! w00tage! hehe. Finally. I was feeling kinda upset that Dustin was getting all these moderator points, but now I know that I'm gettin' them too. W00tage. Very much so. So now I get to say I'm a slashdot meta moderator. Very w00t.

Anyhow, today was boring, typical saturday. Woke up hella late, around 10ish, studied a bit of calc, took a bath, went on my computer, screwed around there for a little bit, then had a lunch of leftover bean stuff. Funny, because for dinner I had some chili. Was good too. Anyhow, after that I took the dogs on a walk, and then went for 2-3 hours on the treadmill while listening to music and watching the matrix. Total milage today, 7mi. W00t. Watched the mummy after that. Then I read my bible a bit, (I'm trying to read it... I mean, it is probably one of the most popular books out there...), and then I finished my calc portfolio. God that's stressing me out, I don't know if I did it right, but I'll have to just go out on a limb. Oh well, I think I screwed up somewhere, but I just don't know where. I also finished my Eng 103 paper yesterday, and did all my reading for humanities 100 (and some extra reading by accident. :-/) and I also finished my Eng 103 reading. I hope I'm not missing any field trips for humanities 100. Lemme see, got an e-mail from PLU asking me to go to a dinner, and I got another letter from them congradulating me on getting in (again...) and a b-day card. W00t. Also got a b-day card from grandpa and grandma in calif, which was nice. Talked to them on the phone. Fun. I really miss them, and I wish I could go down there sometime. They're good people, and I have some fond childhood memories. Just want to have some more.

When I look at my grandparents, I notice that for the most part they've aged fairly well. As with my parents. My mom especially... 43 and she looks like she's 27. But then again, she does all that running. My dad looks like bald riker and is going gray, hehe. Anyhow, back to the topic. Yeah, my brain has been on overactive for the last two days, and I've just been churning stuff out. I feel very productive. Go me. And I got those moderator points! w00tage! hehe. Well, I gtg. L8tr.

Well, as usual, life is utterly boring. Yep. Boring.

Today was, as one might imagine, very boring. Woke up, walked to school, had calc. It was boring, and I have a bad feeling about the test tomorrow, especially all those fricking problems where you have to find the max/min values and all that other jazz. Ugh. Health was boring too, and kinda depressing as we were doing a section on death. Lunch was boring as well, nothing happened aside from me chatting it up with Colin and being bored. Courtney also showed up and called Matt, and I talked to him a bit. More boredom. Brain seeping out ears. Bio 5 was a lecture in preparation for finals. Rode bus home, walked the rest of the way. Studied for test, worked on IB portfolio, got annoyed with that, was upset, was pissed, was tired, fell asleep, woke up, got on computer. Computerted, did stuff, enjoyed self, got annoyed at stuff, got good scores on /. (When the hell do I become a moderator? Alas, it is my ultimate dream. Hopefully I will be chosen to moderate next... Lol...) Anyhow, suprised that I got along with Courtney. w00t. Home boring. PLU thing called asking me to go to orientation or something. I got accepted there, w00t, but yeah. Dad being pissed off for no good reason, pissing me off, and working on finding NPC stuff. Spent a ton of time playing with the NPC generator. Need to work on studying calculus. Damn.

Later.

Life is fucked up. How do I figure this? I dunno. I have just felt like... all sorts of shit today. Tons of horemones or something... Dammit, I'm almost 18, I should be done with all the weird hormonal stuff... I dunno... I just felt like crap. It all started in the morning when I felt really nasty. Just tired and lethargic. I made the bus, so I avoided being in the rain for too long, yay. Almost missed it though, due to my computerness. Ugh. Anyhow, I boarded the bus and hung out with Mr. Yuong a bit before calculus, and then calc started. I got none of it. Stupid math not making sense... I figured some of it out later, but still, I got a migraine during lunch and for the latter half of the period. I missed playing munchkin with Colin, but oh well. I got a part as a disgruntled neurotic postman for some movie by Laura seago, w00t. Fun. I get to hang with chix0rs... hehe... Fun. Anyhow, still a bit uncomfortable around Colin, the rage is still there. I know he doesn't think he's doing anything wrong when he roughhouses with me, but sometimes I feel downright violated... Being nearly molested by big burly 260 pound hairy guys... just freaky. Plus, he should know I'm a bit neurotic. Anyhow, it was stressful. I've almost forgotten about being angry at Courtney for wanting me to apologize to her for her doing what to me? A: Being a total bitch, B: Rubbing a wound when I was still sensitive about my first real breakup, and C: being one of the major contributors of Hannah breaking up with me. *growl* and she is always so... Annoying... God, does she need to be all PDA in everyone's face? She has issues. Anyhow, enough with her. I just can't wait to be rid of her and never see her again. I wish she would move.

Anyhow, health was ok. It was a video, and I talked with some people about random fun stuff, and it was ok. The video was interesting enough, about neurons and the changes that occur when you age, blah blah, interesting stuff. Bio 6 had some videos too, which were... Childish and out of the 70s. Yuck. Anyhow, that helped my migraine a bit, then I had to go to mock trial, and have my picture taken, oh well, and then we had a trial runthrough. It was alright, I finished my calc homework, botching parts that I didn't get (A large portion of it. I'm so fucking worried about the final in that class, he had better curve it...) and then I did my part pretty well. I argued with the opposing lawyer, which was a lot of fun. After that I walked home in the wetness and rainness, printed some stuff out, didn't start on the math portfolio (I need to do that) and helped set up the treadmill. I also took a pill for the pain, so I'm feeling a bit better. w00t asprin. Damn migraines. I dunno... I just don't feel too hot. I need a hug. All I need is a fucking hug, and not from Colin, who would crush me. Just a hug.

Today was a most boring day. Went to church, had discussion in the group. Meh, we lutherans are boring... Philosophical at best, sadly. I was bringing up actual deep psychological ideas about dietial vs. platonic love, and just throwing them around, and they were giving me BS in return. Nothing like philisophical debates with my buds... Hmm. I like hanging with nerdier types.

Anyhow, today was pretty boring, in contrast to yesterday, where I got up, expecting to go to seattle with the rest of the family. I decided to stay home, and just about as I was starting to feel really stupid for doing so, Lane calls up and asks me if I wanna go to see 2 towers with him. w00tage, eh? Well, we go, it rocked for the 3rd time, hehe, and then we go to wendy's and see steve. Good times, yah? Yep. Had nice chat with him, he's doing well. I hope he does well, he's a good guy.

Then I talk things over with Lane, and yeah... He's feeling better now, but he was... yeah. I think it was thursday night that he came over and we talked... he just let it all out. Hey, good for him, and I just listened. I've been his listener this whole time, listened to him while he's on his romantic high, and now I help him catch himself while he's on the down end. Poor guy.

Anyhow, after that we went to see Shakespear abridged, which was a lot of funnyness. Yeah. Lane kept on making vaguely bisexual remarks on me, trying to scare me. (I was just like ......*whimper horrifiedly*) What scares me even more is the ideas he wants to use with his next D&D campaign... Vile book of darkness and stuff. Suddenly all that Call of C'thulu doesn't seem so bad.. hehe. Also, he introduced me (sorta) to d20 modern, which looks pretty cool. I'm thinking of joining the W0tC forums, so yeah. w00tage.

Anyhow, today was boring. Went to church, wasted time online, a lot of time online. I need to watch it, or I'll start wasting away. Went on a walk, so yeah. Wanted to read something, bible, small gods, whatever, but I didn't. The internet is such a waste of time, but I'm kinda addicted. It's so much at my fingertips, like an entire world of socialness. It's a world. A entire fucking world, behind my monitor. And I can only watch and interact in very passive ways. The most I've ever done is screw with html on someone else's mb, and make a webpage. Big wow. I wish I could do more. But alas, I am simply a peasant. Maybe that's what all this stuff with trying to become a /. moderator is about. I want to be someone online. Not just a peasant, but a somebody. Hah.

What happened to being somebody in the real world? I guess that matters too, yeah, but it has warped to my addiction. I want to be a programmer now. Ha! I'm gonna end up like Lain's dad in Serial experiment Lain.. God... Great.

I'll have to shake this habit in college to study. But then again, that's what I said about high school...

Hey, at least I'm not watching tv, I'm talking.. and stealing mp3s, but that's aside the point...

Anyhow, back to today. Helped Jess play FFX, beat one of the hardest boss in the game really easily, and yeah. Went online. Went to grandparents house, did stuff. Boring as hell. Went online. Been there ever since.

Found lots of nice D&D stuff. I wonder about myself in the future. What will I be like? I have the will to succeed, in a sense. In my mind that means getting As and Bs in school, and getting a BS so I can be a programmer, maybe getting a certification just for the hell of it, and then getting a job, an apartment, a nice computer, and yeah. Just hope I don't get hooked on neverquit or other stuff like that. Oh yeah, get a g/f, hehe... God I'm boring... G/f... big issue. Lane is suffering. Colin is suffering. I lost my g/f about a bit less than a month ago. But I still miss part of her, her spunk, her confidence, her eyes, her lips, all of her. God she was the best.

Oh well, I guess there will be more. I am still kinda upset at Mattney for bringing up love right after my breakup, and trying to rub it in my face that their relationship is all that. Yeah, Courtney, after you just scare my g/f away with your nasty bitchy antics... Grr. And Matt too, he should've just not talked to her.

It was screwed up to begin with. Anyhow, next romantic relationship I get into, they aren't invited.

Well, tomorrow is a long day, I got calc homework, and then prolly another lecture in health, and then some bio stuff. Lab, or whatever... CRAP! I forgot to finish the lab. Oh well, I figure everybody else did. It's easy enough, just copy down all the stuff into the labbook. God, so tedious. Then I have English 103, which is... meh... I finished the journal and the reading, so I'm on top of it all, and then humanities 100 is a field trip, yay. Go field trips... And then tuesday is a day where I sit on my ass and eat cookies all day. w00tage. Wensday, thursday, and friday are all normal and stuff, and then saturday is volunteer day (get up superearly, grr...) and then sunday is the day where I WILL go to church, not just group, and yeah... And then monday is mlk day. FREEDAY! w00tage, eh? Well, I gtg. Bai.

Whew. Had today off, of course, due to gates grant day. Had TCC though... But that was at 3, so I pretty much stayed at home and zoned. Literally zoned. Did some p2p, relaxed, zoned, studied, and cooked some rice. Boring.

Then I went to TCC, and it was fun. Eng 103 was actually rewarding, as we had a cool discussion on colleges and the economy, but sadly everybody agreed. *sigh* And then humanities 100 was awesome, we discussed Picasso and cubism and stuff. It rocked. Then I barely make it to the bus in time, and I get home. Life isn't half bad... But I just hope I do well on that calc quiz coming up. I have been studying...

I just learned that Matt had been reading Whitney's DJ. What the f*ck? Has he no decency? Leave them alone. I only read people's DJs if they ask me to or something. God, he's just looking for any sort of minor arguement between Shane and Whitney so he can say their relationship is over when Courtney and he have issues ten million times worse.

Anyways, enough griping about them, dustin explained how to become a moderator, and I wish I was one. Dammit... I visit /. all the fricking time, and I post twice as much as he does! Argh. Most of my posts are still opinions, or just silly jokes, but still... I've gotten a 5... so yeah. Ego boost, baby. Oh well. Anyhow, today was alright... Had to walk to school and back, which was a pain for my poor legs, and I was able to avoid bitchney, so yay. God, Courtney... Ugh... Just ugh... I just don't want to see her ever.

Anyhow, today was alright. It went rather quickly, we discussed the subject matter in Calculus, and then lectured and stuff in health, and then in advanced bio we did a lab with blood pressure. Kimseth was my partner, w00t. Bless him, he was nice to me. Few are... Go him. He's cool. I need to stop by TCC tomorrow and spend the whole day there, just chilling with friends. Then humanities 100, and Eng 103... w00t. And get new books. Stupid bookstore and their stupid screwups. Read 'the right to read' on /. today, was fun. Well, I gtg, life being boring but can't stay on one thing for too long, latah.

I never want to go to School again. Well, I take that back, but damn... I have been in school for... Well, a hell of a long time. 10 hours or more I suppose, if you count all the time waiting for the bus. I got home around 8:30 PM, and I got to school at 10 AM. Stupid High school classes... Ugh. Stupid break ending, argh. So lemme see... Woke up, took a bath, got bored, went online, /.ed, checked all my comics, went to school, hung out before class with Mr. yuong, had cool discussion with him about stuff.... I want to learn more about his experience with the killing fields. Not out of morbid curiousity, but because I want to know what he went through... It will help me get to know him better. Well, he gave us a really small calc hw assignment, so I'm happy, but I know there'll be a quiz/test soon. :-/.

Lemme see... Health was actually pretty cool, there was a guest speaker who was a cured drug addict... and boy was she cute! Yeah, she was interesting... And cute... Very very pretty. Yeah. Hehe... I feel sorry for her, but happy that she's recovered from her addiction... And yeah. Had a cool discussion about 'puters with Qwang, and I found out that Cliff, believe it or not, is a net junkie. w00t. I need to get his e-mail address.

Biology was ok, we did a lecture, and I kinda spaced out half way through, sadly.

And then I got on the bus and went to TCC. First class: Eng 103: The guy admits to being a nerd, and he's a PhD. W00t. Sounds smart, and has a lot of funny stories: 3 stories in the first day! That's a very good sign. And I'm sitting next to a real hottie, but she looks a few years older than me... God, I thought I gave up the search for women after I broke up! Gah! Hehe... Also, apparently the original teacher I was supposed to have for that class couldn't do it, so we get the cool teacher. w00tage.

Humanities 100 is awesome. I got into this chat with the teacher after class about post modernism in media today, and it was... just wow. We were discussing various movies and how the music can change the entire theme and stuff... God, I'm gonna love that class. Sadly, after the class ended I had to wait 45 minutes in the cold waiting for the bus... Grr... Cold.... Well, I gtg. Later.

I f*cking hate the music industry. They're a bunch of fugging assholes and they need to suffer. They are theives, imoho. They sell cds for 20 bucks. 20 fricking bucks. Do you know how ridiculous that is? If they wanted people to start buying cds, perhaps they should quit being so greedy and lower the prices. Plus, I'm sure Eminem has enough cash as it is. IMOHO music artists are too rich as it is. They need to realize that it's not about the money, it's about the art itself. God. Interesting banner add flashing above me saying 'sick of crappy radio?' and it shows a guy throwing his radio into a trash can, then it says 'do something about it!' and it shows him logging onto a computer. Hah. WINMX. Actually, it's live 365. What I don't get is why the RIAA isn't getting on the tails of other forms of music sharing. Well, they just might, after they slay P2P. But P2P will never die, it's too common. They can try to slay it, but it shall never go. It's too good a system. Who knows, they might try to go after ebay next. Corporate whores... Ok, Here's my thought process on e-bay: It hurts the hell out of corporations. Why? Somebody buys a PS2, decides he doesn't like it. Sells it on ebay for $100, and sells all his games for a good price as well. Guess what, Sony is out 200 bucks plus game prices due to some guy who sold his stuff on ebay. If people start realizing that ebay r0x0rz, pretty soon they'll start shutting that down too. Have they no decency? Argh. I swear, I think I am turning into a Communist.