In 1935, the HIV virus spontaneously generated in my dirty chimpanzee body. This makes me the very first carrier of AIDS. Since then, I have been bootybanging numerous willing and unwilling African homosexuals. [Many African homosexuals are apparently unable to differentiate a chimpanzee from another black man. Even the unwilling ones later admit that they enjoyed my insatiable, hairy ape cock.] I may bite you; I may inject you; I may even shoot my foul monkey semen into your torn, bleeding asshole. Regardless of my method, you can be sure of this: The Original AIDS Monkey will not rest until you are dead.
...of AIDS.