I tell them that I have a friend in Nigeria who has millions of dollars he needs to launder out of the country, but he can't because HIS system is so infected. I then suggest that they might be a match made for each other...

I am always amused at the "i need an open source (read:free) solution" requests by folks who want to use it for their business. This is for an amusement park. I assume the park charges people for admission. They also charge for food, and to play the games, and so on. Yet, this guy doesn't want to pay for a solution to address his audio distribution needs. WTF?