A hundred bucks? Gosh, considering they probably bought Windows XP over a decade ago, they would have needed to save up about 80 cents a month to afford that upgrade. [Shakes fist at those fat cats in Redmond.]

Google. Better one: If the company that made the car goes out of business, do you have to start paying for insurance?

"They gently heated fresh grains to liberate the trapped electrons and let them "relax" back into less energetic states...The tally showed that the beads start out with far too few trapped electrons to explain the static buildup" Jared!!!

You forgot to capitalize "parentis" and "dipshit".

A long time ago I worked in a place that had a lab full of test machines and a team web server, which were on adjacent shelves. About once every year or so, they would hire a new contractor and say, "those are your test boxes over there," then be utterly shocked when he flattened the web server later that day. Switching from SCCM to a guy with sneakers and a LiveCD isn't a magic bullet.

This isn't even remotely true. Each one of the 'if' statements in the function could have been tested with a certificate that was broken in the way that the statement was checking for:

foreach (cert in MyBigAssCollectionOfCerts)
{
AssertFalse(IsValid(cert));
}

I'm guessing the test team (if they had one) didn't have a tool for creating a broken cert for each case.

Still, it sounds like they've spent millions of dollars on it and only produced 300 units. Doesn't that count as failure, when you could just buy a Kindle off the shelf, apply some exacto-knifing to break the wireless and USB, then hermetically epoxy it shut?

I've always thought it was admirable how the cell phone towers at the airport can handle 200 people turning on their cell phones simultaneously when the plane lands. I can see how it would be less than desirable to have 5000 GSM and WiFi enabled devices transmitting aboard your aircraft carrier.

Fortran is 40% QBasic and 60% OMFG ALL CAPS. Ideal for folks who are fundamentally ignorant of software development. You think I jest... SUBROUTINE SUB1(X,DUMSUB) INTEGER N, X EXTERNAL DUMSUB COMMON /GLOBALS/ N IF(X .LT. N)THEN X = X + 1 PRINT *, 'x = ', X CALL DUMSUB(X,DUMSUB) END IF END

Because you presumably aren't going to ask your health insurance or medicare to pay for that wicked-cool bionic third arm?

...obscurity.

From what I've seen, government-mandated security auditing results in two things: 1) 10%-20% of your IT staff is always offline while they try to figure out why they can't log in today. (What was the 20 character password I used for that one account in the Prague datacenter?) 2) The auditing misses all of the gaping holes in the home-brewed software running in the datacenter.

He mentioned ICE papers. Do you want *your* tax dollars paying for the disposal of some unidentifiable foreigner's charred remains?

I don't think so. His painful death was an accident, just as much as if he'd slipped on a banana peel and brained himself on the way to the execution chamber.

7) independent thinking about things involving organizing other humans who were hired to do independent thinking but actually turn out to be duds who come in at 11:00 and just sit around drinking the free coke for six months then get pissed off when they don't get "genius" on their performance review then they go around trying to start a rebellion and eventually need to get canned and escorted out by security and you inevitably see them come back in three months as a vendor and as sad as that is at least it reminds you you'll never be out of work (even harder than that)