Doctor speaking to parents of a just born child, "Congratulations Mr & Ms Smith, your newborn boy is perfectly healthy! Our tests indicate he has 82.7 years of life before he dies a quick death. You can take him home with you just as soon as you pay the $4,283.00 in misdemeanor violations that your child will commit when he is between the ages of 14-18. Have a fantastic day and again...congratulations!"