"It's not because of racism, it's because black people sag their pants, get tattoos*, are disrespectful, and lazy."
*Side note, I work in a non-technical white collar job, and a surprising number of my colleagues have tattoos.
Heh, as someone who just tried beta, kinda find this thread funny. I lasted about 15 seconds on beta before going back to classic.
On topic though, just strip out the parts of jQuery you need, rename them, and use them as-is. Think about it like static-linking a library.
They are called computers simply because computation is the only significant job that has so far been given to them.