Journal NecroArwen's Journal: She is gone. 1
Last night, I found out that someone that I have been very close to throughout my life died last week. I cried for quite a while, even while telling myself that crying over it was selfish, and that the person is either in one of those happy religious places or at least will never suffer anything bad again, without the knowledge that they are missing anything good. These are the times that I wish I believed in some sort of God or whatnot... yet I still get the feeling that now she can see what I'm doing... and I find myself monitoring my actions as though I am religious. Strange. I always would humor her and talk with her and spend hours upon hours with her... and now I honestly can not conceive of the idea that she will no longer be around. I can't remember our last interaction... I wish that I could. Yet, it was a year ago... so long ago to my fairly youngish psyche. I wish that I could remember more specifics about our interactions... because now I feel guilt that stems from the feeling that I did not pay enough attention to her or value her enough while she lived. Yet the image of her face will always be there. I hope that I'm wrong about religion and that she has the ability to feel happy. She deserves it.
...sorry to hear this... (Score:1)