NecroArwen's Journal: They toy with me...

The pills play with me. They keep me "normal", but seemingly so they work selectively. Every now and then, in a completely unpredictable pattern, they falter, and hence so do I. Last time this happened I was unable to socialize or even uncurl from the fetal position for nearly four days straight. I called for help; I called the doctor on-call, who proceeded to inform me that I sounded moreso drunk than depressed, and that I was toying with her. I hung up, and police found their way to my dorm room. All was settled, but not without a shitload of additional stress piled atop of the anxieties and fears and sadness that I had already found. I fear the next time.

Is this why I rarely am invited out? Can they see it in my eyes; are they afraid that I will "lose it" in their presence?

life

[Zandimonious]

Do you rarely go out due to few invitations, or because you are scared of going out? Medicine is always tricky, and scarcely works the way its intended. And I've certainly had enough encounters with doctors and nurses to know that they think they know better than you do, and there is nothing to worry about. Well, all that means is that they don't know anything, so they will take a guess, and then say they "knew that was the case all along, why didn't you say anything?" I truley hope things work out for

Re:life

[NecroArwen]

A bit afraid of going out, but mostly not invited. I suppose I am afraid that if I do go out and screw it up I won't get invited again.. a self-perpetuating shit cycle.

Re:life

[Taiyed]

was it Kierkegaard, or Nick Hexum of 311 who said..."life's a bowl of punch...go ahead and spike it"? no sense and waiting for life to happen to you...you just make yourself life's victim...and what fun is that?