The reason the bully came up to you is because he knew you would just sit there and take it, unlike other kids he bypassed. This is what the parent is talking about. He isn't saying you deserve it for being a victim type, rather it usually happens because the bully can pick the victim out of a crowd and zero in. Recognizing those who tend to be victims is just as important as recognizing those who tend to be bullies.

The parent isn't suggesting that the fault is with the victim. The parent is suggesting that being a victim of bullying may be indicative of their personality type. Just like there are bullying personality types, that is, there are certain types of people who are more likely to bully others, so too are there types of people who are more than likely to be bullied. There is an article in Psychology Today that goes into a bit more detail http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200910/big-bad-bully Looking at the examples you cited, there are certain personality types who are prone to being the beaten wife just as there are those who are more likely to beat their wives. There are those who become the abusive boss and there are those who are they type to work for them. Often these two types will attract each other. And why shouldn't they? Bullies want someone they can pick on, preferably without having to do anything. The victim type will just sit there and take it so why wouldn't the bully pick on them if he knows he can get away with it? It may be wrong for the bully to punch another (assault). It is wrong for a husband to punch his wife but if she keeps going back to him and makes excuses for him how can anything be done? If the subservient employee keeping going back into work no matter how bad things get and they keep denying there is a problem, how will things improve? Does it pay to know and understand bullying behaviour? Of course. Likewise, it behooves us to know and understand victim behaviour as well. I don't agree with the parent that we have to show the victim that they are doing it wrong, but understanding victim behaviour is just as important as understanding the bully's. Understanding the victim isn't blaming them. As a parent, I certainly would like to know what victim behaviour looks like, just as I would want to know what bullying behaviour looks like, so it can be recognized and handled.

I can take action against him. I can act like a dick when I meet him. I can bad mouth him to my friends and family. I can refuse to hire him. There are plenty of legal things I can do to let this person know exactly what I think of them. And I will do that if I have the opportunity. He may have paid his debt to society, but he was still a spammer. Just like I would not necessarily trust a murderer who served 30 years, I wouldn't trust this guy. If he wants folks to trust him, he will have to earn it. 4 years in prison is not earning respect. He has to do that just to get back to the starting point. Now that he is there, he still have to work against his years of abuse. I, for one, won't be in any hurry to help him do that. He is a spammer, regardless of his time in jail. I will call him an asshole to his face and kick him out of my house. I don't want spammers thinking that they can do their thing, spend a few years incarcerated, and then everything will be fine. I want them to think that nobody will ever like them or welcome them and that they've ruined their life by choosing to spam. Then they can serve as a warning to others.

To my knowledge, there are about 90% muslims versus 10% copts. We've all seen how "reasonable and rational" people have been during this outbreak. What happens when a whole bunch of egyptians start getting sick and even dying? One can imagine a whole lot of angry muslims blaming the copts and their swine. Perhaps the Egyptian government is less concerned about the pigs as a source of the flu than they are concerned for the safety of the copts.