None of these consoles is actually 4K.

The term "4K" is originally the name of a cinema standard, which has 4096*2160 pixels.
A 4K image is either 4096 pixels wide or 2160 pixels high (or both), but a 4K screen must have the full 4096*2160 to be compliant to the standard.

The television standard's real name is "Ultra High Definition", abbreviated as "Ultra-HD" or "UHD". It is only 3840*2160.
Some 4K images do fit inside that, but not all. A UHD screen is therefore not a 4K screen.

A "4K TV" is just a marketing term to sell UHD TVs, because it is in the "same order of magnitude as 4K" or "about the same as 4K".

Real 4K monitors do exist, but they are often very expensive, and they also tend to have better support for the colour space in the cinema standard.
The only somewhat affordable screen I know of that is 4096 pixels wide is the one inside of the late 2015 21.5" Apple iMac, at 4096*2304 pixels. It even has support for cinema colour space.

... or a slide with some meaty appendage anyway, right?

The thing is that slide-to-unlock is gone in iOS 10.

There should be a hack to enable it in iOS 10 Beta 1, with a HowTo here.
I am no Apple sheeple that have any iOS device so I have no idea if it will work in the final version.

When you are already in an uncomfortable state, smaller irritants get to you more easily.
Also, different people are different. For some people it is a much bigger irritant than for you.

Once when I was in a hospital, I was alone with a machine that was ticking... and which now and then changed the rate it was ticking. That thing drove me insane. (figuratively)

Uber is not a tech company, whatever they claim.

Sure, their business may be driven by an app and a server "cloud" backend - but so do lots of other businesses. It is nothing special about it - and it is definitely not nerdy.

So please, Slashdot, please stop giving this cheap taxi service more free publicity!

I would not be too worried. Bluetooth radiates about one thousandth of what a cell phone radio does.
I would be more worried about those who talk on the phone all day without using a headset, text constantly or stream music over the Internet.
Cell phone radios don't usually shut off between each data packet. This means that they will continue to radiate for a while even after you have e.g. received or sent a text, albeit at progressively lower levels. The shut-off delays are in the radio protocols and defined by the cell phone operator - not Apple.

How typical that a laptop with a touchscreen-keyboard should win "Best of show" ...

I would win in hacking olympics.
My skills with the hacksaw are exemplary!

Acer announced their stackable Revo Build about a year ago, around the same concept.
Unlike the HP system, the Acer system is user-extendable.
Acer was also first (of HP and Acer) with a inductive charging top...

But it is basically like a NUC... with a not very fast CPU, no discrete GPU, no RAM expansion etc.

The Sun SPARCstation IPX was introduced in 1991, and precedes the Acord RISC PC (1994).
If you wanted an external SCSI harddrive or CD-ROM or tape-drive, you put it into an external enclosure which had the same footprint and styling as the base unit so that you could put them in a nice stack.
You daisy-chained them with SCSI cables, but each unit had its own power supply.

Of course, stacking HiFi components is even older.

Spearfish? Didn't you mean "Superfish"?
From what I have been able to find out, Lenovo stopped installing Superfish in new machines back in early 2015.
Is this a new malware?

A touch-tablet keyboard that moves the "keys", adjusting to where the user's previous strokes have been.
That sounds like one of the features of FingerWorks TouchStream touch-keyboard and I think they had a patent on this.
They stopped making products in 2005. FingerWorks together with its patents was then acquired by Apple.
I think Lenovo must have someone bought or licensed that patent, or they are about to meet with Apple's lawyers ...

Don't dis the Atom processors. I think you must have tried some extraordinarily badly configured Windows system ...
I now have three Atom-based computer and are all fine.
They are perfectly fine for office/productivity tasks and for web and email, even for light software development: The things that most people would use a laptop for.

Just give the laptop a proper battery and a decent keyboard and mouse and it could be very useful device ...

I don't understand the reason for going away from "vanilla" Android.
Wasn't the point of the Google Nexus line to produce reference implementations of devices for the Android operating system, to show to other brands by competing with them which minimum features and specifications that Google thought that Android devices should have?

Because robots.txt is only a standard, not a law.

There have been reports of Bing's web crawlers not respecting robots.txt - and Bing has a huge user base (whether you like it or not) and that's just at the top of the iceberg.

This would not have been necessary if the radio protocols for mobile/cell phones had included a provision for blocking in the first place.

It would not just be convenient to have in bars and movie theatres; some hospital departments need cell-phones to be off for some very sensitive equipment (MRI, etc.) to work properly.
It is not as if illicit cell phone use have not been a problem at hospitals and movie theatres since they first were introduced.

I think having the phone stop transmitting by itself would be a much better solution than a Faraday cage. Then it would still be possible to call emergency services.