Well, I said I'm from the United States but the joke is that I'm not. Pretty lame I know, but jokes are shoot and miss.

No, and let me tell you I'm not joking, this morning I was robbed. My internal tubes were broken and thousand liters of my semen evacuated out of the harms way. Some of it was lost and never returned. Whoever has my sperm, please bring it back. There is now tons of my sperm moving across the United States. HEEELP!