alt.music.perl-jam
alt.music.awk-jam
alt.music.sed-jam

Not really. CPUID is an untrappable ring 3 instruction, so all callers get basically an honest answer. You'd have to single-step the entire program, or do a speculative emulation to identify the call points then breakpoint them, or something similar, to subvert it.

already asked him last year. He said no.

Does that mean that you'll entertain other offers?