You have a lot more important things to worry about, sir. I'm investigating you under suspicions of Communism.

Everyone knows that the GNU movement is just a front for brainwashing good, old fashioned, God-fearing Americans into overthrowing this government by the people and for the people in favor of a Communist regime.

How do you know you're a Communist? There are a few tell-tale symptoms:

1. Destroying your perfectly configured Windows XP desktop in favor of a less powerful and less useful Linux machine;
2. Not taking showers often enough;
3. Improper usage of the English language (including difficulties with appropriate usage of the apostrophe, including substituting the contraction "it's" for the possessive "its");
4. Continually persecuting others for their non-belief in or disagreement with the writings and ethics of raving lunatics.

I, on behalf of your government, will be contacting you soon about possible appearance before a Senate committee on your Communist crimes. Until then, I suggest you install a real operating system.