Journal Interrobang's Journal: Chew On This! (Don't Worry; it's Kosher!) 11
Our dear perfessor multigeek touched a nerve the other day when he asked me about Crohn's Disease. Not that I'm denying or impugning the condition, but I've seen a few cases of alleged Crohn's Disease that have turned out to be food allergies, actually. I guess that touched a nerve with him, too, because he's got even more food allergies than I have. If I had my ICQ logs handy, I'd do the unthinkable and violate his privacy and list 'em all for you (just for prurience's sake), but since I don't his secret's safe. So he asked me to write this one, so Rustin, this blood's for you.
There's a darn good reason why grocery shopping for me is a chore, and going to restaurants often an exercise in applied paranoia: I can't eat milk (or milk products), and nobody takes it seriously.
Before I go on listing my litany of lactose (and casein) hell, I should mention that the reason I began writing about it at the top was that I've seen a few cases of severe "allergy addiction" leading to symptoms that certainly look like Crohn's or colitis, or even "irritable bowel syndrome," and little wonder. If you're looking at one of these diagnoses, you may wish to make sure you get symptomatic treatment first, and then get allergy tests (ie. an elimination diet) second.
My Rant on Food Allergies
That said, I come at this subject from two major postulates. The first is that food allergies are often misdiagnosed, and secondly that even when they are diagnosed, they're not often taken seriously by doctors and/or the general public. As my friends have known me to complain, "Someone has to die before the public will take a food allergy seriously, and I don't intend to be the test case." Even people who ought to know better have questioned me on my terminology: Are you allergic, or just lactose intolerant? (As if lactose intolerance is "just" anything, but that's another story.) No, actually, I am allergic to milk. I'm also lactose intolerant too, but when I'm getting back my last several meals express from both ends, coughing, blowing my nose every two minutes, and compulsively scratching at the allergy rash/excema on the bottoms of my feet, the palms of my hands, and my face, well, golly gee, I don't worry about what's causing which too much. (Truth in reporting: The former graphic description actually happened to me a couple summers ago. I'll get to it.)
The cultural pressure is enormous. My parents are, shall we say, unhelpful - they preface their culinary comments with editorializing like, "There's no poison in it." People look at me like I've grown a second head when I order cheeseless pizza (that year I spent trying to decide whether I could get pizza without cheese for the asking was tough!). Oh-so-helpful "nutrition" articles in women's magazines (which oh-so-well-meaning people clip for me) - paid for and covered with ads by the Dairy Lobby (aka Milk Marketing Board) -- assure me that 1) I'm going to go to Osteoporosis Hell if I don't drink/eat milk (when I mentioned this to the doctor when my mother was trying to put me on mega calcium supplements, he said, "You eat food, don't you? I really think the supplements are unnecessary. We wouldn't want you to get kidney stones." Thanks, doc, 'preciate it, 'cause the gallstones were bad enough!), and 2) that if I just take this (handful of) little pill(s), it will make the nasty lactose go away, and everything will be all better, and then I can eat milk like the normal people! Eat it! Eat it! Eat it now!! All the cool kids eat milk! You know you want to! (No, I don't. Milk has tasted rotten, literally, to me for oh, about 15 years now. Sour milk taste plus inevitable sickness is a powerful disincentive. In the psych biz they call it "negative reinforcement.") A waitress in the Jack Astor's on Fanshawe Park Road by Masonville Place mall in London (boycott, anyone?) carefully listened to my plea for no butter or topping on the garlic bread because of an allergy, and then brought me a pan of garlic bread sans topping, but avec, as it turns out, about three tablespoons of melted butter sloshing around in the bottom of the pan. When I confronted her about it, she was apathetic at best ("There's a piece of paper there to protect it!"), and didn't even have the decency to say, "I'm sorry," when I said, in a state of righteous pissed-offedness, "You fool! I'm going to be sick for three days because of this!" (I was.)
And it all goes back to people not taking these things seriously. A food allergy is supposed to be an annoyance, right? Not worth worrying about? (Tell that to my friend who goes into anaphalactic shock from alcohol. She can't even use regular toothpaste without having breathing trouble.) Honestly, these well-meaning folks who think they can be unconcerned on our behalf (like we're hysterical paranoids or something), really burn my (unbuttered) toast! After all, they're the ones who get annoyed at me when I ask to see the box, the can, the package (and you wouldn't believe the stuff I can't eat!), or when they say, "There's no butter in it," and I say, "Really? Usually --- has some butter in it," which gets, "Oh, not much. Only half a pound in the entire batch." (What part of no butter do you not understand?! The no part?!) Then they get offended when I won't eat any. Or how about the folks who try to cook for me and can't be bothered to read labels; or the folks who buy me food as presents, and can't be bothered to check if there's no milk? Bonus points if they get offended when I have to refuse the gift...
Like I said, cultural pressure. And cultural pressure makes ersatz cheese, and Tofutti (for which I am eternally thankful!), and something called President's Choice "Wowgurt," which sent me into kernel panic ("You're going to be sick!" "It's tofu!" "It's yogurt!" "No, it's not, you moron!"), and all those other things. Even I (Tofutti) can't completely excise milk influence from my life.
Just for reference in case you all are having a tinfoil hat moment and don't believe me, here's an incomplete list of things I can't eat because of "cryptomilk":
Any prepared meat made by Schneider's (modified milk ingredients)
Most "Cream of" soups
Most hot dogs
Knorr brand soup and chicken broth (whey powder)
Renee's brand salad dressing (even the unusual suspects)
Most croutons
Some packaged french fries
Most "snack cakes" and similar
Some kinds of peanut butter
Some kinds of pasta sauce
Some prepared seasoning mixes (whey powder)
Krispy Kreme doughnuts (whey powder)
Baker's chocolate (clarified butter), and some "semi-sweet" chocolate (milk ingredients)
Some peppermint patties (butter fat, modified milk ingredients)
Most pre-packaged foods (tv dinners etc.)
Most margarines and "spreads"
Experiment: If you're curious enough, the next time you go grocery shopping, look through your cart (read labels) to see what has milk products beyond the obvious. You're looking for (among others): modified milk ingredients, milk ingredients, whey, whey powder, casein, bromelain, lactose, milk sugar, butter powder, milk powder, butter fat, milk fat, and similar things.
Of course, I don't take the issue to PETA lengths (insisting that milk be called "pus" and the like), and I don't (normally) evangelise (unless I'm talking to someone known to be lactose intolerant/casein allergic who should know better, David!), but it's worth being aware, if not for your sake, then for your friends'. (Some of you may very well wind up cooking for/eating with me if I get to travel as much as I'd like!) Still, even though it probably doesn't affect you, here's some (dairy-free) food for thought.
There's a darn good reason why grocery shopping for me is a chore, and going to restaurants often an exercise in applied paranoia: I can't eat milk (or milk products), and nobody takes it seriously.
Before I go on listing my litany of lactose (and casein) hell, I should mention that the reason I began writing about it at the top was that I've seen a few cases of severe "allergy addiction" leading to symptoms that certainly look like Crohn's or colitis, or even "irritable bowel syndrome," and little wonder. If you're looking at one of these diagnoses, you may wish to make sure you get symptomatic treatment first, and then get allergy tests (ie. an elimination diet) second.
My Rant on Food Allergies
That said, I come at this subject from two major postulates. The first is that food allergies are often misdiagnosed, and secondly that even when they are diagnosed, they're not often taken seriously by doctors and/or the general public. As my friends have known me to complain, "Someone has to die before the public will take a food allergy seriously, and I don't intend to be the test case." Even people who ought to know better have questioned me on my terminology: Are you allergic, or just lactose intolerant? (As if lactose intolerance is "just" anything, but that's another story.) No, actually, I am allergic to milk. I'm also lactose intolerant too, but when I'm getting back my last several meals express from both ends, coughing, blowing my nose every two minutes, and compulsively scratching at the allergy rash/excema on the bottoms of my feet, the palms of my hands, and my face, well, golly gee, I don't worry about what's causing which too much. (Truth in reporting: The former graphic description actually happened to me a couple summers ago. I'll get to it.)
The cultural pressure is enormous. My parents are, shall we say, unhelpful - they preface their culinary comments with editorializing like, "There's no poison in it." People look at me like I've grown a second head when I order cheeseless pizza (that year I spent trying to decide whether I could get pizza without cheese for the asking was tough!). Oh-so-helpful "nutrition" articles in women's magazines (which oh-so-well-meaning people clip for me) - paid for and covered with ads by the Dairy Lobby (aka Milk Marketing Board) -- assure me that 1) I'm going to go to Osteoporosis Hell if I don't drink/eat milk (when I mentioned this to the doctor when my mother was trying to put me on mega calcium supplements, he said, "You eat food, don't you? I really think the supplements are unnecessary. We wouldn't want you to get kidney stones." Thanks, doc, 'preciate it, 'cause the gallstones were bad enough!), and 2) that if I just take this (handful of) little pill(s), it will make the nasty lactose go away, and everything will be all better, and then I can eat milk like the normal people! Eat it! Eat it! Eat it now!! All the cool kids eat milk! You know you want to! (No, I don't. Milk has tasted rotten, literally, to me for oh, about 15 years now. Sour milk taste plus inevitable sickness is a powerful disincentive. In the psych biz they call it "negative reinforcement.") A waitress in the Jack Astor's on Fanshawe Park Road by Masonville Place mall in London (boycott, anyone?) carefully listened to my plea for no butter or topping on the garlic bread because of an allergy, and then brought me a pan of garlic bread sans topping, but avec, as it turns out, about three tablespoons of melted butter sloshing around in the bottom of the pan. When I confronted her about it, she was apathetic at best ("There's a piece of paper there to protect it!"), and didn't even have the decency to say, "I'm sorry," when I said, in a state of righteous pissed-offedness, "You fool! I'm going to be sick for three days because of this!" (I was.)
And it all goes back to people not taking these things seriously. A food allergy is supposed to be an annoyance, right? Not worth worrying about? (Tell that to my friend who goes into anaphalactic shock from alcohol. She can't even use regular toothpaste without having breathing trouble.) Honestly, these well-meaning folks who think they can be unconcerned on our behalf (like we're hysterical paranoids or something), really burn my (unbuttered) toast! After all, they're the ones who get annoyed at me when I ask to see the box, the can, the package (and you wouldn't believe the stuff I can't eat!), or when they say, "There's no butter in it," and I say, "Really? Usually --- has some butter in it," which gets, "Oh, not much. Only half a pound in the entire batch." (What part of no butter do you not understand?! The no part?!) Then they get offended when I won't eat any. Or how about the folks who try to cook for me and can't be bothered to read labels; or the folks who buy me food as presents, and can't be bothered to check if there's no milk? Bonus points if they get offended when I have to refuse the gift...
Like I said, cultural pressure. And cultural pressure makes ersatz cheese, and Tofutti (for which I am eternally thankful!), and something called President's Choice "Wowgurt," which sent me into kernel panic ("You're going to be sick!" "It's tofu!" "It's yogurt!" "No, it's not, you moron!"), and all those other things. Even I (Tofutti) can't completely excise milk influence from my life.
Just for reference in case you all are having a tinfoil hat moment and don't believe me, here's an incomplete list of things I can't eat because of "cryptomilk":
Any prepared meat made by Schneider's (modified milk ingredients)
Most "Cream of" soups
Most hot dogs
Knorr brand soup and chicken broth (whey powder)
Renee's brand salad dressing (even the unusual suspects)
Most croutons
Some packaged french fries
Most "snack cakes" and similar
Some kinds of peanut butter
Some kinds of pasta sauce
Some prepared seasoning mixes (whey powder)
Krispy Kreme doughnuts (whey powder)
Baker's chocolate (clarified butter), and some "semi-sweet" chocolate (milk ingredients)
Some peppermint patties (butter fat, modified milk ingredients)
Most pre-packaged foods (tv dinners etc.)
Most margarines and "spreads"
Experiment: If you're curious enough, the next time you go grocery shopping, look through your cart (read labels) to see what has milk products beyond the obvious. You're looking for (among others): modified milk ingredients, milk ingredients, whey, whey powder, casein, bromelain, lactose, milk sugar, butter powder, milk powder, butter fat, milk fat, and similar things.
Of course, I don't take the issue to PETA lengths (insisting that milk be called "pus" and the like), and I don't (normally) evangelise (unless I'm talking to someone known to be lactose intolerant/casein allergic who should know better, David!), but it's worth being aware, if not for your sake, then for your friends'. (Some of you may very well wind up cooking for/eating with me if I get to travel as much as I'd like!) Still, even though it probably doesn't affect you, here's some (dairy-free) food for thought.
I sympathize / empathize (which one is it?) (Score:2)
One of my best friends up here has a milk allergy quite similar to yours (she can't touch it or she breaks out, ingesting is Right Out) We're rather limited when we go out to eat, 'cause most restaurants just *don't* get it.
We eat a lot of sushi...
Re:I sympathize / empathize (which one is it?) (Score:2)
At least, I think so. I have empathy with a person who has just gotten dumped, I have sympathy for a person whose dog just died.
Food Allergies, Development, and a suggestion (Score:2, Interesting)
I mean, I'd have a hard time dealing with just being lactose intolerant (yeah, it's "just." As in, "you can take a pill and it'll go away." I'm not disabled, I "just" have asthma.) I really can't imagine being allergic to milk--between my coffee and bagel for breakfast, sandwhich for lunch, and whatever food I'm having for dinner, I eat milk product a good 3-4 times a day.
Of course, despite this plethora of dairy intake, I do have an anectodal experience with dairy allergies; a cousin
Well, actually...it's like this. (Score:2)
Re:Well, actually...it's like this. (Score:1)
You're not a victim. You have a challenge that the rest of us don't have--but no one walked up to you and slapped you with an allergy.
And whatever do you mean by that cryptic last paragraph?
Er, I'm a Christian. Beyond that, I'm religious. What do YOU think I meant?
(And, anyway, we're always judged, all the time, by everyone who hears about us, sees us, or watches us through the eyes
I don't know. (Score:2)
True, but when you say things like (I paraphrase) you were wondering what I was eating when I was growing up that made me allergic, well, nothing. And that sure sounds to me like you (almost) said, "What did you do to make them mad?"
cinnimon (Score:1)
Re:cinnimon (Score:2)
I once had a housemate like this. I assumed at the time it had more to do with him being an asshole than being actually allergic.
If you knew him you'd understand why I thought asshole was the real problem.
Still I think the cinnimon in the tea I liked tended to keep him out of my cupboard in the kitchen. I
If you think that is bad try wheat/gluten (Score:2)
She is as allergic to wheat and wheat gluten as you are to milk products. Fortunately she can eat most other grains with few or no problems.
She is allergic to dairy products from cows as well. Not as bad as you are since she can eat small quantities without getting sick. Again she doesn't seem to have as bad a problem with goat or sheep milk.
She has a few others but they
I relate. (Score:2)
i usually begin my restaurant conversations with: "Just so you know, i have SEVERE allergies and intolerances. If you can't make sure that my food is safe, you need to tell me now, because this will be the difference between me leaving here happy and me leaving in an ambulance." Is it necessarily true? No. But it sure gets them to listen close. And it might well be the case, if they weren't careful. Thus far, i've been lucky. I've spotted the few foods that weren't
Re:I relate. (Score:2)