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Comment Re:But...but... they need new technology! (Score 1) 232

3D TV just makes perfect sense when you think about it. I mean really. No current shows are 3D capable, no old shows are 3D capable. The technology exists to convert those shows to 3D but it's so costly and time consuming it's absolutely not worth it. So we have a gigantic library of content that won't benefit in any way from this technology. At least DVD offered something.

It's not like this is something people have been yearning for...

Beating their backs with willow branches lamenting to the heavens 'If only season 3 of Two and a Half Men had been filmed in stereoscopic 3D! What god would allow such injustice to exist in this world?! Christ died in vain!'

Comment Really good ideas... (Score 1, Redundant) 282

Speaking of good ideas. Has anybody heard of this one?

These things seem to be really popular. They work on nearly the same principle as the vehicle mentioned in the article and they're also light weight and a lot cheaper. Plus they don't make it look like your mom had a job at the circus taking canon balls to the stomach while she was pregnant with you.

Comment Re:I'm not sure I understand (Score 1) 348

You missed the world leading network quality we have in this part of the world. Considering the lightning fast speed of North American ISP's (What're we up to now? 28.8 kbps?) and their cutting edge innovations into bandwidth shaping technology cloud computing is obviously the wave of the future. Why an 80 gig file will only take.. two weeks to transfer from a server to your computer given today's network speeds. And let's not forget gaming. Real time streaming provided you don't go over your 10gb bandwidth limit.
You could argue that cloud computing is only really feasible if you have a solid network infrastructure that isn't monopolized by a bunch of vampires who only care about making as much money as possible with as little innovation as possible. But you'd be wrong, because Bell's most recent pamphlet is printed on really nice paper and the model they used to advertise their services is pretty hot.

Comment Re:Brainless! (Score 1) 429

There's a disease in humans where they lose the ability to feel any pain. They die quite quickly since they can't tell when they're uncomfortable and don't shift their position, eventually resulting in bed sores and all sorts of other injuries that would have easily been avoided had their body been able to give them feedback on negative interactions with their environment.
Considering it has no advantageous effects in humans exactly how would it benefit cows? Maybe the meat rife with sores will be cheaper than conventional meat. People will start asking specifically for 'cruelty meat' to ensure quality.

Comment Re:No Patents Without Representation! (Score 3, Funny) 495

Silence! Guards! Have this man cut in half! Send one half to the slug breeding caves and the other to the sun! Patent suffrage isn't extended to the likes of half burned up corpses bloated with slug eggs! Wahaha! Wahahaha!

Wait what? We don't have a worldwide empire yet? Well what can we do to him? Nothing? Well fine.

To answer your question, when the glorious day comes. No, you won't get a vote. Now get out of here!

Comment Our terrible terrible secret... (Score 5, Funny) 335

It's time we came clean. Macs do get viruses. Actually they get a lot of viruses. Really the OS is basically viruses and itunes. We pretend like we can work on these systems but it's just a screen full of viruses all having sex with eachother. The reason you never heard about it because back in ought 3' we took an oath to never reveal that terrible terrible truth. We relied on Windows users hatred of Macs preventing them from finding out. But, now that it's out in the open I suppose we ought to move forward and try to rebuild, maybe accept the situation and try to secure our OS.

So uhh.. Windows users... How do you make a *shudder* bug fix?

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