What you think cats are is not what you think cats are:
1. My soon-to-be-ex arrived one day to remove everything of value from the house. She confidently placed an expensive tea set we had both enjoyed on a table with many other items of equal fragility. I remarked that it was sad to see the tea set go since we had both enjoyed it so much. As I followed her to another room to witness further withdrawals, we both heard something break. Running back to the living room revealed the tea set alone broken on the floor, but nothing else from the table disturbed. After she left, I made sure the cat received a LOT of positive feedback.
2. I recently ate something which caused me great intestinal pain. My two year old male cat came to my side and sat at attention until my pain subsided. He has done this every time I've been in pain.
3. One of my employees came over to drop off some supplies. Her car was leaking oil. The cat sat at the garage door looking at the car through the screen and meowed incessantly. He has never done that before. I had to close the door to stop him from looking at the car and making noise. Four days later the head gasket blew and the engine ruined.
4. Where I live it is common to see scorpions. They easily enter my house, as I have found them under clothes on the floor. After getting the cat, he has found every single scorpion to enter and spends hours playing with them before impaling them. Last night he found a baby scorpion, no bigger than a spider. He finds them in pitch darkness; how I have no idea.
5. Cats are fast. In the time it took me to blink my eyes, he covered six feet and touched my face with his paw before my eyelid closed. Imagine if he weighed as much as a dog.
6. He understands when we play that "No claws!" means he does not use his claws when we wrestle. When I don't say that, I go through more bandages than usual.
Conclusion: we don't have to wait for the flying saucers, the aliens are already here and have already taken over. We are their slaves. Why would the Egyptians build something as big as the Sphinx? Has anyone ever made a sculpture of a dog that size? They knew where they stood and left the statue as a warning to humanity.