I called Alanis. It was pretty crazy shit man. It was like Agent Smith in Reloaded. I touched the receiver to my ear, and then there was this pop, hissing and electrical discharge, and then, I was Alanis.

So then I was sitting there, and I started playing with my breasts, and with my pussy. And I was really getting into it, there was a mirror on the ceiling and everything. I found a dildo on a nearby nightstand and lubricated it, and inserted it deep into my vagina. I felt it fill me, penetrate me, violate me, deep. I threw my head back, a slight moan escaping me. Then... the phone rang. Fuck.

So then I picked up the phone in the throes of sexual excitement, all pissed off and bothered. But then I heard the electrical discharge, I was becoming, yet again. Suddenly I found myself on the other end of the phone, as the person who had called. I could only listen as I finished the words, "Call 1-800-CALL-ATT!!! It's free for you and cheap for them!!!!"

So then I was like, WTF, I'm Carrot Top. But luckily there was a hot chick there like there always is in his commercials. So I was like, hey baby. And she was like, WTF you freak, just finish the fucking commercial. But I was like, want to see if the carpet matches the drapes? Shortly thereafter, we were having sex. I had her bent over a parkbench, thrusting my cock deep into her pussy, it was dampening more and more, her grip on the bench tightening. Like a dream, I heard the words, "Get away from me you Eight Legged Freaks!!!"

I looked up, my vision blurred. I saw before me David Arquette. He saw the girl and was like, cool!!! He wanted in, I said whatever. So he whipped it out and let her blow him as I did her doggy style. And it was pretty cool. Then David was like, this will be cool!!! And he took out his cell phone and dialed me with 1-800-CALL-ATT. So my cellphone was ringing, and I answered it. Yet another pop, hiss, discharge, and looking back at me was none other than Carrot Top. Looking down, I saw the brunette, fellating me gently. Cool indeed!!!

Then Carrot Top was like, check this out!!! So then he dialed me on his cellphone using 1-800-CALL-ATT, and I answered, and then pop, hiss, discharge, I was Carrot Top once more!!!!!!!! So then the chick was getting all horny over all the money being saved, and she was like, do me!!!!!! So I gave her the phone and told her to ring me up with 1-800-CALL-ATT. And she dialed, and I answered, and then I was her, doubly penetrated, as Carrot Top and David Arquette came, deep inside of me, from both ends.

Well actually, that kind of sucked.

1-800-CALL-ATT!!!! It's free for you and cheap for them!!!!