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Comment Re:Groping (Score 1) 394

And he's trying to cause election day violence.

I'm not saying to go violent, but we have to watch, folks, because our democracy is being stolen by the media, by the government, by a bunch of lying whores too ugly to grope, by SNL, and by illegal aliens who get airlifted from Mexico to the inner cities so they can vote five times for Crooked Hillary! It's all rigged, the system is totally rigged, folks, totally rigged, and you know it's true because if Trump loses, believe me, everything is rigged, I can tell you that much.

Comment Re:Groping (Score 2) 394

Conservatives seem to be more concerned with hypothetical scenarios than things that actually happen. Hypothetically, a good guy with a gun might shoot a bad guy with a gun, a guy might put on a wig and enter a women's restroom to leer at girls, a Syrian refugee will show up in Chicago and vote 10 times for Clinton or set off a fission bomb, etc. The fact that these things never happen doesn't matter- if they can *imagine* it occurring, that's enough.

It's amazing how many people are convinced of "voter fraud" without actually thinking about what it means. Voter fraud means someone stands in line, votes, then gets back at the end of the line and votes again- thus risking years in prison in order to get in one extra vote! Which is believable if you're utterly incapable of putting yourself in another person's shoes and imagining what they might be thinking.

Ever since voter fraud paranoia took hold, governments have been policing for voter fraud more vigorously. And so far the only offenders have been conservatives trying to prove how easy voter fraud is.

Comment Re:BAAH!!! (Score 1) 136

In the sequel, the Tyrell Corporation meets its downfall. After Eldon gets his eyeballs pushed inside out, the company is managed for four years by a replicant of Carly Fiorina. As a result the replicants refuse to work unless constantly supplied with overpriced genuine Tyrell superpower refill cartridges.

Comment Re:Yeah, that'll be why its 400C on Venus (Score 1) 130

So let me see if I understand you correctly:
  1. 1. Your four doctors were "experts".
  2. 2. They misdiagnosed your illness four times.
  3. 3. Therefore experts are idiots.
  4. 4. Since climate scientists are also considered "experts", they must be idiots too.
  5. 5. Therefore the climate isn't changing. QED.

Although this analysis depends on several logical fallacies, and basically amounts to an anti-intellectual attack on science and reason, I have to admit that it's more sound than most denier arguments.

Comment Re:They don't answer the only question we care abo (Score 5, Informative) 177

The cytosine methylation signal along a strand of DNA is theoretically heritable, even though it has nothing to do with the actual sequence of bases.

There are vast stretches of junk DNA in the genome, some with old genes for ancient viruses or parasitic sequences like transposons, and the way the cell keeps those parts of DNA away from cell machinery is by methylating the cytosine residues. The methyl groups prevent RNA polymerase from transcribing the DNA and therefore it gets silenced.

When a cell divides, the methyl groups are only on the original strand; the new complimentary strand doesn't have any. The methylation signal has to be actively transcribed from one strand to another; an enzyme runs up the DNA feeling for methylated cytosine residues. When it finds some, it starts methylating any cytosine residues that might be nearby on the opposite strand, to make sure the troublesome regions all stay commented out. That's why it's heritable.

Comment North Korea is in the nineties (Score 1) 138

Hey Dan, ready for that public hanging of political prisoners? I'm just finishing up here with my new kayaking friends.

Kayaking friends on your computer?

Dan: Yeah, I just got North Korea online.

Sounds great. Listen, I can't go to the public executions today.


First my kids have to go to the library to read books on how great Our Leader is. Then I have to stand on a street corner and yell revolutionary slogans at complete strangers. And I have to contact my mother; she's making kayaks in a slave labor camp and gets executed tomorrow.

Hey, we can take care of all that before we go.

Yeah, right!

No, with North Korea online!

North Korea online can do all that?

How about sending your mother some nice flowers?

Comment Re:What we should really do. (Score 2) 70

Perhaps we could focus on saving the fauna we have now that is on the verge of going extinct from a variety of reasons.

I think we can walk and chew gum at the same time.

If any extinct species deserves a second chance it should be mammoths. They only went extinct because we arrived as an invasive species and killed them all ourselves.

Comment Re:Times change (Score 1) 193

Now, pardon me but I need to ask you some questions. Have I answered all your customer concerns about your fighter aircraft in a timely and satisfactory fashion today? Have I accurately and politely provided answers to your questions in a courteous and prompt fashion and offered good customer service? Thank you very much bye!

Comment Re:Not a nice way to die (Score 4, Informative) 429

Although it's an old technology, older than the 3.5 mm audio jack even, the ordinary mousetrap is humane, effective, reusable, and available in multiple sizes. They kill instantly; you'll never find a mousetrap with a live rodent wiggling around in it.

The glue boards, on the other hand, are pretty gross. The rat sticks to them and then you toss the thing into the trash, which always struck me as somewhat psycho. Sometimes people buy them without it dawning on them they're going to end up throwing a live mammal into the garbage. I knew one guy who came across a starving mouse wiggling in the glue, was overcome by an unexpected burst of empathy, and spent the next half hour making a mess outside with rubbing alcohol trying to pry it off without tearing any limbs.

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I'm still waiting for the advent of the computer science groupie.