As a female, I experienced a similar chip-on-the-shoulder of always having to "prove" I could program with the rest of the guys in undergrad. Not a very good experience at all. Still, I liked programming enough to pursue a Masters in a related subject at MIT, where pleasantly, the stereotype did not follow me. I wonder if perhaps this was because I was no longer on the pure CS track? Or perhaps when you're at a university focused on math and science, the general assumption is that everyone is on the same level?
It's funny because the whole reason I pursued CS to begin with was because of the positive experience I had in high school. Again, it was a math and science high school so perhaps when schools specialize, the gender bias is neutralized when it comes to CS.
Fast forward seven years out of school and I'm happy to say I'm still programming and have bright colleagues who are women. I experience none of the stereotypes like those from my undergrad days. I love programming, but the painfulness of my undergrad experience make me loathe to recommend the major to any of my younger female relatives.
It makes me sad when I look back on how discouraging my undergrad experience was, and how easy it would have been to simply switch out, even though deep down I really enjoyed programming. I think a lot of the guys then didn't realize when they were being patronizing or demoralizing to female classmates around them. They were just geeks being geeks and it's easier to not be afraid of a girl when you assume she's dumber than you.
That's not to say I didn't ever run into gals who did fit the stereotype. In fact, I always inwardly winced when I came across another gal who did because I felt it perpetrated the stereotype to my detriment. And part of me always wondered if perhaps they had caved to the pressures of the stereotype? These were smart gals, but their lack of self confidence when programming and second-guessing themselves might've killed otherwise good instincts.
C'est la vie. :(
