"I live in a small southern European country where natural light abounds." Wtf, you have a better sun than the rest of us?

That you spend 90% of your time playing online games and you totally p0wn on them. Then, when they are really getting into the game you are showing them on your laptop, ask one of them to close the screen of the laptop. Then tell all the kids they are now the "users" and that they should all yell out in mindless repeatedly and run around the classroom like little mad superballs and bounce into each other. Then open the laptop back up and again, and say, "oh, look everyone, a user did something very stupid and broke things but I fixed it." Then go back to playing and they can all calm down. You have just given them an accurate description and you never have to worry about being invited back to that teacher's classroom again. Don't thank me, just send money.