How about Sangria? It contains wine but is sweeter. For bonus points: in Portuguese, Sangria translates as bleeding, which seems appropriate with the expected exodus of developers from Wine.

Man vs Man
Man vs Nature
Man vs Self

Gay
Bestiality
Onanism

and the concept of Tragedy and Comedy.

reading sex in everything

Bad ports are the sole responsibility of developers, not something inevitable due the nature of the process. Mass Effect is a good example of a port better than the original Xbox version (GUI, not just graphics). Dead Space is also a good port. I'm sure there are others.