Since when does topless=porn? Never on a beach. Maybe at Thanksgiving dinner if the queen is visiting. But they are standing on a beach that is probably full of other people walking around topless.

but I would love to set up a touch tone menu for just the telemarketers. --press 1 if you are an annoying caller --press 2 if you are probably just trying to waste my time --press 3 if your intention is to sell me something --press 4 if you just want me to answer your questions for free --but not actually buy anything --press 5 for another menu --press 6 to hear these options again --press 7 seven three three... two three three... five five..one to connect to a live operator (really it would just be another menu but this time with 130 different options spoken in a heavy Scottish slang)