That's the funniest thing I've seen in a while! Glad it didn't turn out to be in support of crack pots too :)

in effect.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantum_suicide_and_immortality
Running the LHC at full power would kill us all, therefore we will forever experience it breaking. Duh.

How likely is it for groups of tool-like rocks to show up together?

Both major theories? I wasn't aware there was more than one. I think if there is another major theory that is supported by half as much evidence as the current theory is it should be definitely be taught.