University coding classes allowed me to painstakingly map my Ballmer Peak. It turns out 3 beer gets me there, plus one additional beer every 45 minutes to keep the ride going! See also: http://xkcd.com/323/

A creative homeowner could turn this potential disaster into a windfall... install an entrained gas separator on the incoming water line and harvest the natural gas heating fuel. Not exactly for the faint of heart, but better than waiting for your house to blow up if you leave your faucet on.

Oh wait... you said ANTI-virus software.