Distros and Office Suites (Score 1)

Well, as far as distros go, I honestly think Caldera eDesktop is your best bet. You can do an unattended install via over the network, and still have lizard auto-detect your hardware, which as far as I know, RedHat doesn't do. Also, it doesn't shove gnome libs down your throat, which it sounds like you won't want. As for office suites, NOTHING is truly compatible with Microsoft Office, which is, quite unfortuntely, the standard these days. StarOffice 5.2 does come close in terms of functionality, and their filters are OK. I recently opened a complex word document that chocked SO 5.1, and it came out somewhat managable in SO 5.2, ymmv.