Explodes onto the market just like Olestra.

Do they know how much of a pain in the ass it is to smuggle in the largest model iPhone?

The French have never been too smart about building useless fortifications designed to keep stuff out.

Since it has to kill enemies, they have already deleted the 3 laws. The robot has firewall to any outside control and runs on nuclear power, requiring no recharging. What could possibly go wrong?

If Google made the car, then it's target selection process is a secret! Sssssshhh.. it avoids the person that paid for AdWords You can increase your chances of not being hit by doing paying a 3rd party company to decrease your ranking.

I always attach a hidden EULA to all my HTTP requests, so if the web site tracks me, they have violated my license and I can sue them for breech of contract and millions of dollars.

John loads his BFG and aims it at Zenimax, it fires ... screaming, flames, squishing noises and body parts everywhere.

They are working with Microsoft to use the Kinect to detect how many people are watching and calculating their gross weight. The next billing will be pixels-per-pound. Maybe Dominoes might be interested too, $19.99 pizza per thousand pounds of people.

Obama announces the NSA will take over all internet delivery. The net stays neutral, secure and free from corporate greed. In other news, tin foil has been banned by the EPA.

Budweiser sent trucks to take some of the piss water away to make American style beer

you used to carry your stack of punch cards to a Demi-priest, who passed them to the Priest who was the only one that was allowed to touch the computer. Funny, how even today that role still exists.. it's called a DBA.. these jerks won't let mortal developers near a database, even though the dev writes the script to be run against production, and DBA monkey just hits Run for you.

Read the book The Disney Way.. it doesn't matter if you are the CEO or there to paint the fence. If you see garbage, you pick it up. It's about everyone pitching in to make a company awesome. (said in a Disney Princess voice)... but seriously... Of course everything is a balance, I think the operative word is "occasional" ops.. it doesn't take much time out of dev schedule to manage a web server or VM so your product just keeps working, especially when it is a new product and the production ops are still being figured out.

You can upgrade by installing Windows Me, then Vista Ultimate, then enable start menu, disable start menu, 8.0 SP1, Windows ME again but holding ALT-F5 until BSOD appears, then quickly insert the 3.5 floppy with 8.1 patch on it (if you didn't keep a floppy drive.. oh you're so screwed!).

Just like auto manufacturers put cosmetic do-nothing switches in for disabling the airbags. Also, the emergency air masks in the airplanes are just hooked up to each other, not to oxygen. Take quick panic breaths and see who passes out first!

Simple solution, make a personal "cone of silence" around your chair and wear a mask.