I came here hoping for a least a chuckle. I honestly thought the joke was all the html/css/obfuscated javascript appearing on every page where advertisements should be.

Thank you.
If only slashdot could figure out a way to take the most relevant information in an article.. and somehow put it at the top of the comment section.. Hmm, what could we call it?

Wonderful. When people told me not to stare at the sun because it would cause permanent damage, I thought they were talking about damage to the sun

oh ho ho! you really.. burned me.

It's surprising how much less sensitive your mouth is to temperature than the rest of your body. I'm not saying that's not ridiculously hot, but some people sip it annoyingly loud, cooling it in the the process.
If you're taking a shower, I'm not sure what the tolerable limit is for most people.. I guess around 120F, but make the water as hot as you can stand, then open your mouth.. it just feels warm

You can't comfortably pour it on your crotch either

Have you ever actually seen how an elephant is trained? Positive reinforcement doesn't work with elephants. They prefer to be stabbed in the face with a large metal hook

I was thinking it was just one AC arguing with itself.. ugh

Why does it have to stab itself? Maybe someone threw a 50 year old harpoon at a 3 year old whale 50 years ago

Is there enough time to review her life insurance policy to determine if it will be considered an accidental death?

Maybe the child isn't moving

If you said that to a stranger in a face-to-face conversation, I think most would take offense.

If you have a feature phone with more capability than the first gen iphone, what would you add to it to make it a smart phone?

I think Stephen Hawking said he was inspired to study theoretical physics after hearing Shatner's version of Rocket Man.